Why do I Have Recurring Dreams about a Guy?

13 November, 2019
Q Salam. I keep dreaming of a guy I know. In real life, he proposed to me. We were not getting along and that night I dreamt this man was very hurt and upset and jealous by this news and told me not to marry him.

The first one he was in a studio wearing a Kameez. It was very white and noor (light) was gleaming out of it and he looked me in the eye and smiled.

Next dream we were in an unknown home talking. However, he looked a few years older.

Next dream, we were kissing each other. He asked me to marry him, I said: “I'm insecure about some stuff.” He said he didn't care and carried on kissing me on the bed and I saw all his family walking in.

Why do I have recurring dreams about him?


In this counseling answer:

• You may want to look at what these insecurity issues could possibly be in real life as often dreams are an indicator of our subconscious.

• I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on these dreams except for inner reflection.

As salam Alaykum,

Thank you for writing to us. As I understand, you are having reoccurring dreams involving a man whom you are not married to but whom you do know.

Sister, I am not familiar with interpreting dreams but perhaps you are dreaming about this person because you have unresolved feelings about him.

Why do I Have Recurring Dreams about a Guy? - About Islam


It seems that these dreams progress from purity (him being dressed in white and smiled at you and had noor) to sinfulness.  The fact that you both were in a bed kissing and not married is indicative that it is not a good thing from Allah.

Also, his whole family walking in at this time may represent exposure. The fact that this person looks older in the second dream sounds like it is someone who you may have liked but he is not as serious as it is years and years that you see each other (in your dream) doing haram and not marrying.

In your dream, you stated “I am insecure about some things” when he proposed. You may want to look at what these insecurity issues could possibly be in real life as often dreams are an indicator of our subconscious.

Unless you had a specific relationship with this person, I do not feel these dreams are about the guy but more about you and your internal struggles. He just happens to be the vehicle through which the unconscious is unraveling.

The other guy (in real life) who did ask to marry you may be stirring emotions in you such as fear of getting hurt, feelings of current or future jealousy, and generally cause you to feel upset.

Commitment can be a scary unknown. Sometimes “dreams” of romance can be a safer option for the unconscious (or conscious) fears we have. It is not surprising that your mind went to this “safe” place after the real-life guy proposed. It seems that in all three of these dreams you appear to feel “safe”.

Please, evaluate insha’Allah how you feel in real life situations (such as personal connections and commitments) in terms of emotional safety.

This guy who you keep dreaming about may be representative of your own self, the feelings of your closeness with Allah to insecurities or fears that most humans have. For example, going from feeling secure and close to Allah (noor) and hopeful for a wonderful marriage to growing older and waiting (second dream) to feeling hopeless, conflicted and exposed (third dream). Of course, this is all speculation, sister.

Check out this counseling video:

I encourage you insha’Allah, to explore how you feel about each dream and what emotion it causes you to feel. This will help a lot in getting a glimpse into what the dream may be about. When you resolve any issues you may be feeling/experiencing you may find the dreams stop.

I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on these dreams except for inner reflection. Reoccurring dreams can be disturbing and make us curious, but they are usually related to the self (unless we see the prophet (PBUH) in a dream or we made istakharah prayer). There are times when the shaitan comes into our dreams (nightmares), but this doesn’t sound like that. Nonetheless, please, do get in touch with the emotions that the dreams bring out and do some self-introspection.

Lastly and most importantly, take refuge in Allah and make duaa for the dreams to be resolved.

We wish you the best.


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Seeing My Ex in My Dreams; What Does It Mean?

I Am Afraid of My Dreams

Does Allah Speak To Us Through Dreams?

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.