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Shall I Marry a Divorced Man?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

May 28, 2019

Question

I met a nice Muslim boy through some mutual friends. However, I am unsure what to do. I am 23 and he is 30. He has been married before and has a child. He has also been to jail. He is a lovely person and very respectful.

However, I am unsure of how to bring this up to my parents. I am scared they will not accept him.

Counselor

Answer


Shall I Marry a Divorced Man?

In this counseling answer:

•Many Muslims have been married before and have children. Many Muslims have been to prison and are now wonderful Muslims. People change.

•You say that he is a very nice person and respectful. What about his faith? What about his devotion to Allah and following Islam?

•Before you tell your parents about him that you do ensure that he has the above-mentioned qualities. You want to present to your parents a man who has a good reputation and his religion is on point.


A Salaam Alaikum sister,

You stated that you met a nice Muslim boy through some friends. You stated that he was married before and has a child. He has also been to prison.

Judgment and Mercy

Sister, the part about him being married and having a child is fine. There is nothing wrong with that. Many Muslims have been married before and have children. Many Muslims have been to prison and are now wonderful Muslims. People change.

Shall I Marry a Divorced Man? - About Islam

Questions

However, my question would be, has this man changed? What did he go to prison for? How long ago was it and what was it for? These are the questions you need to know.

You say that he is a very nice person and respectful. What about his faith? What about his devotion to Allah and following Islam? Is the brother known in the community and respected? I will kindly suggest sister that insha’Allah you inquire about him through your friends at first. Find out about his reputation and personality in the community.

If his situation is that he is serving Allah, following Islam, and truly is a good person, there is no reason why you should not present him to your parents. If Allah forgives us for our sins, and we do have many sins, then we need to be forgiving of other people.

Qur’an & Sunnah

If you decide that you are interested in marrying him, there are points in the Qur’an and Sunnah that discuss forgiveness of sins, and how people do change become the best Servants of Allah. There is no haram in marrying somebody who has been previously married and has a child. Many cultures do have a stigma against it but it is not against Islam.


Check out this counseling video 


 In fact, our Prophet (PBUH) married widows with children. The important factors sister are if he loves and serves Allah, is following Islam, is Islamically permissible for you as well as the both of you are compatible.

Before Presenting to Parents

I do advise you insha’Allah, before you tell your parents about him that you do ensure that he has the above-mentioned qualities. You want to present to your parents a man who has a good reputation and his religion is on point. Like all parents, they will want to ensure that their daughter is marrying a kind Muslim man who will lead her to Jannah. Insha’Allah, things will work out as you wish and your parents will embrace him.  

We wish you the best.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Before Marriage, How to Know She is The One?

I Changed My Mind; I Want to Refuse This Proposal

Deceived by a Married Man

 




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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