Q I was in love with a Muslim boy at the age of 16. (Later on, I converted to Islam, too.) We faced many problems; both his and my community knew about our relationship and tried to bring hurdles between us, but we stayed together. I continued my studies with a postgraduate diploma while working. He asked me to go abroad and take him so that we can get married. He loved me so much, too. My family left the decision to me as I was successful and courageous, and they knew I would not listen to them anyway. But his family, out of fear, was forcing him to marry someone they had found for him. He said to me that he would marry that girl for the sake of his family and after traveling abroad, he would marry me as his second wife. I could not digest this as it would have spoilt my image in the community. Then, we got some financial problems; I had to quit my job, and he was not either settled financially or had a good education. But this was never an issue between us. I asked him to start earning when he said he felt bad that he didn’t have money. But nothing happened. He just kept waiting, and this basically ended our relationship. Three years passed, and then he married a girl from his community leaving me alone with my tears. In my community, nobody wanted to marry me as they knew that I was in love with a Muslim boy for ten years. Later, a financially sound, but uneducated family agreed to marry me in lust of dowry. They harassed me, imprisoned me in the house, beat me up, and exploited. When I revolted after having my first child, I was blamed by my mother-in-law and his other relatives that I wasn’t able to adjust to them as I am highly educated. Later on, I continued my education as they did not allow me to work, despite that my husband has no job or any income. Besides my own salary, I need my parents’ support and my dowry in order to run my family. I have even some depts. Moreover, the abuse and frequent quarrels between me and my husband affect my children. This whole situation makes me feel so frustrated. Eleven years after what my boyfriend did to me, he found me on Facebook and started sending me sorry messages which I just couldn’t digest as I felt my life has become miserable because of him. I tried avoiding him, but he changed his name and started sending me messages as if he would be a girl. I thought it was one of my school friends, so I responded, but soon I realized that it’s him saying that he loves me and keeps waiting for me. To be honest, I was moved by his words as I loved him so much. When he left me, I got myself home arrested, because I could not imagine my life without him. Now, he says he wants to marry me to correct his mistakes. He suggested to go to Dubai for a few years to get married and avoid problems here in India, and later on come back to take care of our children (he has four daughters and I have two daughters). I decided that I want to get married with him as I could not get adjusted to my husband. We’ve already started the process of travelling abroad because I see he is a responsible person taking care of his wife and children. I can live with his family in the same house, even his wife agreed to it. The problem is that I left my husband and I am staying at my parents’ house because I was facing hard times with him. But I am unable to stay here for long as it is also a joint family and everyone is wondering why I left my husband and live here. Even my father wants me to go back to him. My mother supports me and tells me to stand on my feet. I have been in contact with my boyfriend for five months now, and I continuously ask him to marry me, because my life is miserable staying at my parents’ home temporarily. I feel very unsecured and lonely. He said he is waiting for a chance to make me travel abroad and settle his family so that he can join me. This seems to be a long process while he is enjoying his marriage and family. I feel I am left alone as usual and that he is unjust to me. What should I do? I feel like committing suicide along with my children which I should have done thirteen years ago when he left me alone and got married. Please Allah help me, I cannot live without him. I cannot bear this suffering.