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I’m Afraid My Snoring Will Bother My Husband

26 January, 2020
Q My problem is a bit strange and embarrassed to ask being a girl. I snore and I'm getting married and my husband doesn't know about it. How to deal with it and how to react when he questions? Although I tried everything but the condition is not improving.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• He is probably thinking about some of his human events and worrying about them!

• Try to focus your upcoming wedding and the joys of preparing for this big event.

• If you feel you may have sleep apnea, please do consult with your doctor.


As-Salamu Alaykum dear sister,

Thank you for writing to us. Please, do not be embarrassed! There are many people who snore, both males and females. It is not an uncommon issue.

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I am quite sure that it will not be an issue in your marriage. In fact, I would not be surprised if you find out that your future husband snores as well!

There are many reasons why people snore, most of them are not of concern. However, there is such a thing called sleep apnea in which people stop breathing for a few seconds, regain their breath and continue sleeping. This also results in very loud snoring.

I’m Afraid My Snoring Will Bother My Husband - About Islam

Sleep Apnea

According to the Mayo Clinic, “Loud snoring, is usually more prominent in obstructive sleep apnea. Episodes of breathing cessation during sleep witnessed by another person is a clue as are abrupt awakenings accompanied by shortness of breath, which more likely indicates central sleep apnea. Some other symptoms include:

1-Awakening with a dry mouth or a sore throat

2- Morning headache

3-Difficulty staying asleep (insomnia)

4-Excessive daytime sleepiness (hypersomnia)

5-Attention problems

6-Irritability

Sister, if you feel you may have sleep apnea, please do consult with your doctor. If you do, indeed, have sleep apnea, there are treatments available to help you with this issue.

Being Human

Sister, if everything clears medically regarding your snoring, please do rest assured that this is a minor problem. I know it can be embarrassing and something that worries you, but in all honesty, I am confident that your future husband will not even notice, or if he does it will not bother him.


Check out this counseling video:


We, as humans have an array of bodily functions which may be annoying or embarrassing such as burping, snoring, passing gas, grinding of teeth and so on. It is a part of being human! Insha’Allah, your future husband will acknowledge these normal events in life as the human condition of living.

In fact, he is probably thinking about some of his human events and worrying about them! Perhaps he passes gas a lot, or maybe he burps often. Would it bother you? I think not.

Sister, once you and your future husband get married, these little human nuances will be forgotten about. You both will be focused on getting close, creating a bond as well as enjoying each other’s company.

Please sister, try to focus your upcoming wedding and the joys of preparing for this big event. Insha’Allah, you will find your fears to be unfounded and you will feel quite comfortable in your new husband’s presence.

We wish you both the best!

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.