Answer
Answer:
As-Salaam ’Alaikum brother,
Ma sha’ Allah, it is wonderful that you would like to get married and honor sacred law. I hope God guides you with wisdom and proper preparation for this noble dedication. I would like point out a few items as you consider this sister as a prospect.
Firstly, it is not haram to speak with the opposite gender. This is a false tradition that has no roots in Quran or the Sunnah. The Quran gives us guidance around engaging with the opposite gender (keep your gaze respectful, protect your private parts), and in the Sunnah we find the principle of not being alone with a non-mahram. This is not the same as avoiding all forms of contact.
Islam is reasonable and practical; it honors the human context and at the same time protects humanity from harm. The seerah of the Prophet (saw) has many proofs of healthy interactions between men and women. Cultural customs are not always the same thing as following Islamic values, in my opinion, and I invite you to learn more about this.
It is good that you have fear of God, but do not exaggerate this fear if you are not actually doing anything wrong. Keep your interaction honorable and honest. Sometimes, it is good for two people to talk and understand each other before involving the parents as a preliminary step.
How can you know you want to marry this girl if you have never spoken to her? Have you thought about that? I think what you mean to say is that you are interested in her and would like to begin a courtship process to discover if you two are compatible. With that said, your father is absolutely correct. You will need to be established financially before you can marry a woman unless you have a different agreement (for example, both of you will work or get support from your parents.) Since the expectation from the husband is that he maintains his wife financially, you will need to ensure your income before making any moves to get married.
However, you can initiate getting to know her simply to get a better sense of compatibility. State your intentions and interest about why you would like to explore courtship. She may be for it or not interested. If she is interested, then begin discussing what really matters when it comes to getting to know someone for marriage. Remember, religion is not the only topic you should discuss, but also future goals, shared meaning, expectations of family and life, and much more.
Please, refer to this link for further topics and questions you should consider for the courtship process.
May God make it easy for your brother and guide you with His Wisdom, amin.
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