In this counseling answer:
• Pray and make du’aa’. Never give up on these and continue asking for Allah’s guidance.
• Arrange a meeting with his family and members of your own and talk about it openly as a big family.
• Another option is to just set a bit aside and leave him to work on his family and come to you when he is ready for marriage.
As-Salamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,
It sounds like you have faced a lot of complications in proceeding with this marriage which makes you very distressed, understandably.
Of course, you want to try and make this marriage happen as soon as possible to put an end to all the stress and move on with married life. However, with things being very heated at the moment and interference from the parents, you are left feeling even more frustrated.
The first thing you are doing is the best thing to do; praying and making du’aa’. Never give up on these and continue asking for Allah’s guidance. They will guide you and bring you comfort during a tough time. This will indirectly help you to approach the situation more appropriately as you are calm and focused.
There are several different ways in which you can approach the situation, but be sure to give them some serious thought before making a choice. Make istikhara regularly and allow Allah to make things happen in the way that is best for you all.
To take a more forward approach, you could just go ahead and get married against his parents’ wishes as it is not a must for them to approve of the wedding. This way, you will get your marriage quickly.
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However, this route may come at a heavy cost in terms of future relations with his family which may ultimately have a devastating impact on your marriage further down the line.
Another approach is to arrange a meeting with his family and members of your own and talk about it openly as a big family. Let them see that you are a good person from a good family and you are serious about marrying their son.
Another option is to just set a bit aside and leave him to work on his family and come to you when he is ready for marriage. If it is meant to be and is good for you, then Allah will surely make it happen. If your potential husband abandons it, then maybe it was never meant to be and you would be able to determine this yourself as he is not serious about moving things forward. This way, you are distancing yourself from the stress and allowing yourself to relax a bit as things settle down.
Contemplate over your options, take them to Allah and ask for His guidance. Whatever happens, feel content that Allah is the best of planners and whatever happens is what is meant for you and what is best for you.
May Allah guide you and grant you a righteous spouse when the time is right.
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