I started having some thoughts after I heard curse words a few times, and they started coming to my mind (they are badly related to God). I started to read about weswasa and how some scholars say that if you cannot get rid of them you fall either in hypocrisy or kufr, so I started reading about hypocrisy and became scared.
I was scared thinking I am a hypocrite because I was very ignorant for some time, thinking if I pray and read Qur'an, then I am good. A lot of my wrongdoings came to my mind and I just now became aware of them.
I feel so regretful, but these thoughts are getting worse, and now I am also thinking about what is happening to other people and it is frustrating and scary. I started seeing a therapist, but I don’t see any change or improvement. I can’t think about anything else and it’s killing me.
I keep thinking about how I’m going to die like this and go to hell. Please advise me on how I can overcome this. Thank you.
In this counseling answer:
• When you know more and more about Allah, you will realize the kind of power Allah SWT is.
• It is normal to have negative thoughts. A human being has an average of 60 000 thoughts per day. It is impossible that all of them will be positive.
• Evil whispers during prayer and at other times come from the shaytan (devil), whose purpose is to misguide the Muslim and deprive him of good.
• The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said about the bad thoughts during prayer: “That is a devil called Khanzab. If he affects you, seek refuge in Allah from him and spit drily to your left three times.”
Assalamu alaikum dear sister,
Relax! You are not going to die being a disbeliever! You will die a believer, in shaa’ Allah, and you will die when Allah is the happiest with you!
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a cubit, and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed. (Bukhari)
Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: “I am as My servant expects Me to be”. The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.
Dear sister, if you believe in Allah, you must believe in His attributes. He is the most forgiving, the most loving, and He is the One Who Guides-Al Hadi.
Get to know Allah
Dear sister, imagine this scenario. I tell you one or two good things about my friend, and thirty or forty bad things about her. Would you intuitively believe that she is a good person or a bad person? You do not know anything else about her. Chances are you will not think too well about her. The list of her problems is longer than her list of her goodness.
However, if you meet that friend, get to know her, talk to her every day for a few weeks, and see her reality, you might be surprised if she turns out a better person than my narration. In fact, the thirty or forty bad qualities I mentioned to you may have had a reason, and you completely agree with her reasoning.
Same is the case with Allah SWT. When you know more and more about Allah, you will realize the kind of power Allah SWT is. No one can understand Allah SWT without knowing Him, His qualities, His attributes, and what He SWT does. Everything that happens in the world is for a reason. Even when bad things happen to us, there are reasons for them.
Everything happens to train us and change us for the better. No one has answers for whatever is happening around the world, but sometimes bad things happen to good people because this world is not a permanent abode; it is a temporary abode. Tolerating the bad here is a ticket to the eternal good by God.
The Prophet PBUH said:
“Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Your soul is hungry for the knowledge of Allah, and the anxious behavior can only be consolidated when you are feeding your soul what it needs. How do you feel when you are hungry? Most of the time when people who are hungry are grumpy, their stomachs make noises, and they are not generally happy.
Check out this counseling video:
Dear sister, your soul is hungry. Your mind’s way of seeking food for your soul is by expressing anger and unhappiness. You need to get your soul satisfied because your mind is seeking something, and it is not getting it. Learn about who Allah is, get books about Islam, and listen to lectures. Sometimes, all we need is a good lecture to help us find inner peace.
You need to divert your mind from everything that surrounds you. Sometimes, when you are not keeping yourself busy, all the negative thoughts multiply and grow and make it hard to be positive about anything in life. You need to let your mind free. Read books, watch interesting documentaries, do fun activities, get physically active, converse with positive people, do art, or go on a nature walk.
In addition, the Prophet PBUH said, “If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not.”
Negativity Stems from the Devil
Dear sister, everyone has thoughts which are not always positive. A human being has an average of 60 000 thoughts per day. It is impossible that all of them will be positive. In reality, many of them are negative thoughts.
Evil whispers during prayer and at other times come from the shaytan (devil), whose purpose is to misguide the Muslim and deprive him of good.
One of the Sahabah (companions) complained to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) about waswas during prayer and said: “The shaytan comes between me and my prayers and my recitation, confusing me therein.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “That is a devil called Khanzab. If he affects you, seek refuge in Allah from him and spit drily to your left three times.” He (the Sahabi) said, I did that, and Allah took him away from me. (Narrated Muslim)
In addition, Allah SWT says in the Quran,
“And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.” (Fussilat 41:36)
Dear sister, this is proof that Allah SWT knows what is going on in our minds and hearts, and it is therefore our job to seek refuge when such thoughts occupy our minds. This is the evil doing of the shaytan to break ties between you and your friends, those who are close to you. This is what the true reason behind your unhappy behavior.
Therefore, the best way to find peace internally is to acknowledge every single time you had trouble in life and remember how you overcame it. This will make you see that if God hadn’t helped you, you would not have been lifted from the problem.
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