Q Asalaimualaikum.

I have recently had been feeling this negativity towards Allah. Some part of me is ashamed about it. I’m angry at Allah because I feel like He gives all His provisions and love to the disbelievers especially the white male ones.

Why do white people get the upper hand and privilege in life when they don’t believe in Allah and some of them even hate Him and Islam?

Am I inferior to them because of me being a black woman? Why did Allah create racism in the first place when it’s not even necessary?

Also, a lot of people tell me that the Prophets had it way worse than me and other people in this dunya as well, which doesn’t make me feel better.

At least the prophets were guaranteed Jannah and had angels giving them good news. I’m not special in Allah’s eyes. I am just another one of his creations. I feel like I’m just one big joke to Him.

I also feel like I’m loosing in this life and the next as well. I don’t pray, fast or do anything religious really. But the disbelievers do the same yet they rarely get punished for these actions on Earth.

Why do I get punished yet they don’t? That’s not fair. Sure, they might end up in hell anyway but at least they had their fun fulfilling dunya. I’ll never get a good dunya or afterlife and I at least tried.