I am a teen. I have been facing internal problems with myself. 2 years ago, I made a terrible mistake. I repented. Every single day all I cared about was being with Allah and gain peace. I really felt those peaceful moments. However, by time, I had no longer that peace.
I lost my faith. I started losing myself. Day by day, I tried every possible thing I could. I started praying tahhajjud but it did not help.
I am tired of this. I can’t get closer to Allah. I feel lifeless nowadays. I started complaining and slipped into a lot of sins that I can't even mention. Please, I beg you to save me.
The worst is that I don't even fear Him now. It makes me pissed off. I don't know why I am even alive while I am not doing what I am supposed to do.
In this counseling answer:
• You can only help yourself. Make small changes. Do not overwhelm yourself with trying to change yourself. Take it one step at a time.
• You are not alone. Everyone is lost. Keeping our eyes on our goal despite seeing every other possible option is hard for everyone.
• Take a paper and a pencil and write.
List 1: Write down everything that you did wrong and are regretful.
List 2: write down everything you are doing. Does it bring you happiness?
List 3: what you want to accomplish in this life.
Assalamu Alaikum dear sister,
You need to reset. You have your life ahead of you. You are only 17. Allah loves you. Although you feel lost and unguided, He is guiding you. You need to pay attention to. Your mind is full of anxiety, worry, and confusion.
Imagine this. You are watching TV, listening to music, talking to someone, working on something. You are not at peace and amidst it all. I call your name. Can you hear me? No. Your confusion, your mind, and your anxiety about the past and the future is cluttering your mind and your ability to hear Allah and listen to Him. You need to be quiet. You need to be at peace.
Islam is more than just praying 5 times and reading the Quran.
Dear sister, many problems we seem to have in our lives is because we tend to separate religion from our lives. Islam is life. It is not part of our lives. It is our life. Allah created us. We are the slaves of Allah. Islam is not something that we need to do consciously; it should be a subconscious part of our life. Islam is about peace. It is about finding harmony. It is about understanding where we are standing and where we are going.
This is what Albert Einstein said,
“There are three rules to life: out of clutter find simplicity, from discord find harmony, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
Beautiful, isn’t it? This is the reality of life. This is what Islam teaches us.
I don’t want you to disregard your difficulties. I want you to acknowledge everything you did in your life. Even the sins you are ashamed to mention.
Did you know that Adam A.S, having eaten the fruit in heaven, asked Allah to forgive him till the day he returned to Allah? In addition, he will continue to seek forgiveness from Allah until the day of Judgement. Why? Not because he fears hell, but because he loves Allah and feels sad for going against Him. True love. He did not despair.
Realize the words of Allah, ‘If My slaves ask you about Me, I am near. I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me.’ [Qur’an, 2:185]
Your love of Allah makes you regret the sin. Your love for Allah is deeper than you know. Otherwise, you would not have acknowledged anything you did wrong.
You need guidance. Your heart needs guidance to direct it towards what is important. For that, you need to declutter your mind. You need to focus on what is important to you. Forget about everyone and everything else in life. It is your life, and it should only consist of how you will please Allah and what you feel you need to do to please Allah.
Allah SWT says in the Quran,
“So, do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers.” (Quran 3:139)
Never in the Quran, or in the sayings of the Prophet Muhammed SAW will you find that you are asked to despair, fall into hopelessness, and isolate yourself constantly thinking about your troubles. Instead, you are asked to see every situation from a positive angle and see growth.
Don’t drown in this world.
The ability to be calm amidst a storm is a skill. A skill that needs practice. It is easy to panic and scream when the world is overwhelming. This world is here to drown us. It is what it is meant to do. The glitter we see around, the “fun” we observe others having, is all delusional. However, often it is this fun that we observe around that makes us question our goals and lose our focus.
This is what I want you to do.
Draw a straight line on a piece of paper from A to point B.
Most likely, you will keep your eye on point B and draw the line.
Now, in order to make this line, you need to make sure that you are focusing on the two points and simply concentrate. However, given the simplicity of the situation, it is not that hard to see B. It is clear.
Now, consider the image has many other points as well, besides A and B.
The distance and the location from A to B are exactly the same. However, is it easy to see it? Can you easily draw the line? In this situation, it is much harder to draw a line from A to B. Even if you see B from A, if you lose sight of B, your line will not be straight, and it will not be straight.
Check out this counseling video:
Dear sister, the second image is what everyone’s lives are. Everyone has this issue. Everyone is lost. However, keeping our eyes on B despite seeing every other possible option is hard for everyone. It is hard, and therefore only a few people are focused, guided, and on the right path. It is hard.
Take a paper and a pencil and write
Write down everything that you did in the past. Write down everything that you did wrong and are regretful. Why did you do it? What made you do it? DO you feel regretful? Do you think what you did is justifiable? Can you reverse it? What can you do to compensate for it?
Dear sister, now I want you to write down everything you are doing. Every. Single. Thing. Does it bring you happiness? Do you feel at peace doing it? Are you satisfied? If you answer yes, then continue. If you answer No, then leave it, and do not think about it.
Now, I want you to make another list, now with what you want to accomplish in this life. What are you hoping to achieve? What are your goals? You need to fill your mind with school and education. I believe that education is a weapon against many things. It is the power we own. It gives us confidence. It changes us and makes us humble. It changes our perspective.
Living in India
Dear sister, my home country is also India. I love visiting. Going there and visiting my family is an unmatched feeling. The view of the sunrise, the sound of the birds, and the burning sun at noon reminds me of my childhood every time I visit. It is a very peaceful place. I want you to start by waking up in the morning, just before sunrise, and observing the sun. Please, waking up and seeing the sunrise is an unmatched feeling. It will bring back everything you lost. It will reset you. It will make your cry. It will make you see who Allah is.
Small steps towards a big change
You can only help yourself. Make small changes. Do not overwhelm yourself with trying to change yourself. Take it one step at a time.
I believe that you are currently closer to Allah than you were before. I strongly believe that your fear is the result of your Love of Allah. Although you are thinking that you are a bad person and are sinning, you are closer to Allah now than you were even though you prayed Tahajjud. You are getting closer to Him SWT, now, with your heart.
May Allah guide you,
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