Recently, I’ve developed a fear that the girl I have a crush on is spying on me with sihr (magic) that can make her read my mind. I first started suspecting this around a month ago. My question is whether this is possible or am I actually just paranoid out of irrational fear?
My worry and fear are gradually getting worse, and now I’m starting to consider if she can actually read people’s minds without the sihr, or if she might even be all-knowing, astaghfirullah.
However, my fear and stress is not constant; it’s rather episodic, and it appears that it gets less severe. Am I experiencing paranoia, or is it just an overwhelming fear?
Every time I get these thoughts, I try to divert my thinking. Is ignoring these thoughts the same as not believing in them, or do I really believe in them and am just choosing not to dwell on them?
Please help and advise me. Thank you.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• From an Islamic perspective, to deal with such thoughts, you should continuously seek refuge from shaytan by remembering Allah throughout the day and increasing your acts of worship to get closer to Allah.
• You can pay attention to the thought and simply not try to push it away. Allow yourself to think it, feel it, give it your attention, accept it as a thought, and then let it pass.
• You can protect yourself from sihr by taking the matter to Allah and always remembering your morning and evening adhkar.
Wa Alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh, brother,
Whether or not this is a case of paranoia, negative thinking and/or irrational fear, the fact that it is causing you so much distress at times is cause for concern, even if it doesn’t affect you 24/7.
It could eventually cause you more serious issues where perhaps you become over-focused on feeling or believing that she is ‘all-knowing’, which becomes a clear deterrent from the proper path of Islam.
As you know, Allah is the only one who is All-Knowing, and we cannot and should not attribute this to anyone else.
Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts
From an Islamic perspective, to deal with such thoughts, you should continuously seek refuge from shaytan by remembering Allah throughout the day and increasing your acts of worship to get closer to Allah. This way, your intrusive thoughts will be gradually reduced, in shaa’ Allah.
From a psychological perspective, there several ways to deal with such thoughts. At present, you try to push the thoughts away and not dwell on them, which is one way to deal with them. However, sometimes doing so can only make such thoughts and feelings even stronger.
For example, think of a random object, and then try not to think about it for 5 minutes. Did you succeed? Chances are, that object popped into your mind multiple times. Oftentimes, the more you try to suppress a thought the stronger it becomes.
Instead, you can pay attention to the thought and simply not try to push it away. Allow yourself to think it, feel it, give it your attention, accept it as a thought, and then let it pass. Repeat this every time the thought arises. Don’t judge the thought it anyway, just simply allow it to pass.
On the other hand, you can pay attention to the thought, analyze it in-depth, and pass judgment on it. Ask yourself how likely is it that your thought is true? Could this girl really be reading your mind? It’s not likely, but even if she could, what’s the worst that could happen?
Is she really the ‘all-knowing’? Of course not, because only Allah is. Is she really spying on you with sihr? Not likely, but possible. What’s the worst that could happen if this was the case? What can you do about it?
Protecting Yourself from Sihr
Simply, you can protect yourself from sihr by taking the matter to Allah and always remembering your morning and evening adhkar. Make sure to do so every day, then place your trust in Allah and, in shaa’ Allah, no harm will be able to afflict you as a result of sihr. This way, whether you choose to truly believe your thoughts or not, you will be protected from the potential harm.
Check out this counseling video:
Experiment with these different methods until you find which method works best for you, and, in shaa’ Allah, you will find yourself in a much stronger position to manage your thoughts successfully moving forward.
May Allah protect you from harm and guide you to the straight path and to the best in this life and the next.
Salam,
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