I pray all my salah’s on time. I read them slowly and try to master as much kushoo as I can. I even read the Quran after every salah yet I feel like there’s genuinely no barakah in my time. I am usually the slowest in everything. It literally takes me so long to even do normal tasks. It was never like this.
This started in 2023 after I developed religious OCD along with gut issues. I have largely overcome my religious ocd but I still have ongoing gut issues which worsen due to lack of sleep. Now, I constantly feel miserable and I am so tired. I don't even waste time scrolling away on my phone or something.
I don't understand why I feel like time is slipping away from me constantly if I read so much of the Quran and do dhikr. I spent my entire day praying (salah and quran) in between all the juggles of school and life. I don’t want to worship ﷲ any less. I just want barakah in my free time.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- What would having barakah look like for you? What is it that you feel you are unable to finish or accomplish?
- The Sunnah includes many forms of extra prayers, dhikr, voluntary fasting, and supplications, but we are not expected to do them all at once.
Assalamualaikum sister,
Thank you for your question. You mentioned that you feel you have no barakah in your time. You said that even though you are doing many extra acts of worship beyond your daily obligatory ones, (praying on time, reading the Qur’an after every salah, praying between school activities, trying to maintain your dhikr) you still feel there is no barakah in your time and that you are very slow in doing things.
What barakah means to you?
Dear sister, I would like to ask you: what would having barakah look like for you? What is it that you feel you are unable to finish or accomplish? It is a bit unclear to me, because from what you described, you are doing your daily worship consistently.
You also mentioned that you do not sleep enough and that you are tired. Slowness can very often be linked to fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep. It can also be connected to sleep deprivation and possibly anxiety-related issues, including the past religious OCD you mentioned.
I wonder whether it is not that you lack barakah, but rather that you fear you do. I am not sure what you are expecting, how would barakah look in practical terms for you? Can you describe it?
I would also like to remind you of something very important: in the sight of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), what truly matters is your effort, not the outcome. There is no fixed prescription for how many minutes or hours you must worship, or how much of your free time must be spent in worship.
But what we are advised to do is to avoid excessiveness and stay balanced, keeping our expectations realistic.
You cannot do all
A regular believer does not spend all of their free time in worship. Free time was not given to us only for acts of worship, but also for rest, responsibilities, relationships, and personal growth. We are encouraged to take the middle path.
If worshipping excessively causes anxiety, procrastination, or neglect of other important responsibilities, it will not bring peace. Instead, it may increase inner restlessness, and delayed tasks cause worry, worry affects sleep, lack of sleep increases fatigue, and the cycle continues.
So I encourage you to reflect on what barakah truly means for you and whether your expectations are realistic. From what you described, you are doing your best. You are praying, you are remembering Allah, you are putting in effort, and in the sight of Allah, that should be enough.
Life in this dunya is also a test. We have school, work, family relationships, friendships. All of these require balance. If we lose balance, it can overwhelm us and eventually even affect our worship.
Seek moderation
Please try to seek moderation. Focus on fulfilling your obligatory prayers and acts of worship properly. It is beautiful to do extra acts, but remember: we were not meant to do every single recommended act. Because we can’t: the Sunnah includes many forms of extra prayers, dhikr, voluntary fasting, and supplications, but no one is expected to do them all at once.
We can rather choose what benefits us most in our current circumstances. Sometimes we may focus on extra fasting. Other times, night prayers. At different stages of life, different acts may suit us better.
So, try to reflect on these points and implement them. If you still have issues later or, kindly seek professional help, starting with your GP for a general checkup.
I hope this helps.
May Allah make it easy for you and grant you feeling the barakah in your time.