I am having some troubles. My iman is going weak day by day. I feel my ending will be bad. I got depressed.
I don't feel khushoo. What to do? I pray 5 times a day.
Yesterday while memorizing my sister pronounced a word min like meun and I mocked the word. I said is it meow and started to laugh.
I asked someone this question he said it doesn't make me an apostate. I feel like I am not a muslim anymore. I need help in sha Allah.
Answer
In this counseling session:
You do care about your relationship with Allah and your place in the Hereafter – at the age of 16! May Allah bless you and always keep you close to Him.
The most important is what you continuously strive to do in order to protect your faith from those weak moments.
If you have Muslim gatherings for the youth in your local mosque, Join them!
Dedicate a certain time every day for studying the Quran, seerah of the prophet, the names of Allah, or anything that you feel would bring you closer to Allah.
Focus all your senses on the prayer that you are standing in front of Allah. I love praying in the nature because it helps a lot in this.
Brother, every single Muslim has such phases in their life. You are not alone!
Salam Aleikom dear brother,
Thank you for sharing your concerns with us.
I am sorry to read that you feel your faith decreases day by day. Feeling the connection with Allah has weakened is, indeed, a terrible feeling!
First of all, let me tell you that I sincerely admire your message and that you are asking for advice to strengthen your faith. Mashallah brother, this really shows that you are a faithful Muslim man. You do care about your relationship with Allah and your place in the Hereafter – at the age of 16! May Allah bless you and always keep you close to Him.
Brother, every single Muslim has such phases in their life. You are not alone!
Faith goes up and down. It is normal.
According to islamqa.com,
“Eemaan (faith) is “belief in the heart, words on the tongue and actions of the body.” Faith will increase and decrease. That is because the degree of belief in the heart differs from one person to another. Believing in what someone tells you is not the same as believing something that you see with your own eyes. Believing in what one person tells you is not the same as believing what two people tell you, and so on. Hence Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) said:
“ ‘My Lord! Show me how You give life to the dead.’ He (Allaah) said: ‘Do you not believe?’ He [Ibraaheem (Abraham)] said: ‘Yes (I believe), but to be stronger in Faith’” [al-Baqarah 2:260]
The most important is what you continuously strive to do in order to protect your faith from those weak moments.
Why does one’s faith weaken?
Islamawareness mentions 3 main reasons:
1.Failing to seek knowledge on a constant basis.
2 Living in an environment surrounded with sin is conducive to weakening the faith.
3. Preoccupation with our worldly life, while neglecting the hereafter.
You can use these points as guidelines to discover what makes your own faith weak and what exactly you can do to strengthen it.
Strengthening your eman
So, brother, how do you feel, what makes YOUR faith weaken? Take a piece of paper and write everything that comes to my mind. Seeing your thoughts on a paper help you relax and see things clearly.
Writing will aid you to find possible solutions to the problem. For example, you feel being with non Muslims all the time makes your faith down. A solution could be to dedicate at least one or two afternoon during the week to be with Muslims.
But not any Muslim! Meet Muslims like you – who care about their religion, who strive to charge your faith, whom you can talk about religious issues and not only movies and music.
Do you have Muslim gatherings for the youth in your local mosque? Join them!
You are in a challenging situation brother as living in the West as a Muslim, especially as a teenager like you, is a huge challenge.
I live in Europe as well, but Hamdulillah I personally got the chance to experience life in a Muslim society. I can tell I do feel the difference in my faith, too. Also I do feel like you that here in the West, you need to make so much more efforts to have a strong faith.
Check out this counseling video:
Seek knowledge
Other possible solution could be to dedicate a certain time every day for studying the Quran, or the seerah of the prophet, the names of Allah, or anything that you feel would bring you closer to Allah. I would recommend Nouman Ali Khan’s tafseer lectures, but there are many great lecturers besides him, I am sure you will find excellent materials in your mother tongue as well.
There are so many things you can do to strengthen your faith. Chose one or maximum two strategy that you feel could work and do them regularly. Do not overload yourself with too many things. Just one or two, but stick to them.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.” Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4240
Here are some articles, some food for thought:
How Do I Strengthen My Faith and Iman?
5 Ways for New Muslims to Strengthen Their Faith
Keeping the Faith Strong in Hard Times
Dip Faith? 4 Easy Steps to Recovery
Develop khusu in your prayer
You particularly mentioned khusu in your prayer. Brother, I am certain that again every single Muslim wishes to better the quality of their prayers. So again, you are not alone!
In our modern times when most of the things are automatic, yet we do not have time for anything, where the amount of impulses we get on a daily basis equals to the amount people of the past got in a decade, it is no surprise that we have hard time having khusu in our prayer.
My best tip for developing khusu is calming down. If you have read the stories of the prophets, they always went into seclusion from time to time. They went far from the people, far from the noise of this wordly life to be able to find complete tranquility and inner peace. To look inside and reconnect with our true soul and Allah. This is what we need to do while praying.
I advise you brother to
take a deep breath before starting the prayer. Breath slowly and deeply, from the nose to the month. This helps you to stay relaxed the entire time.
Focus all your senses on the prayer that you are standing in front of Allah. I love praying in the nature because it helps a lot in this.
Recite the Quran slowly with breaks at the end of each ayas.
Recite a longer sura, if you know any. Or recite two shorter suras. Don’t rush finishing your prayer.
Stay in the different positions for 2-3 breaths, imagining you are in front of Allah.
Stay after the prayer, say some duas and ask Allah to keep you close to Him.
Inshallah you will find these small tips effective. Try some.
Apostasy
Lastly, in your message you said you felt bad about laughing at the pronunciation of your sibling. You felt this has made you become a non-Muslim.
Brother, while laughing at your sister was not nice and you should apologize her, if you have not done so, you were laughing at her pronouncing a hard Arabic word, and not the Quran. I am not an Islamic scholar, but I can reassure this does not make you an apostate!
The Prophet said about mistakes and sins:
“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not commit sin Allaah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sin then pray for forgiveness.” (Muslim)
So, apologize to your sister, promise her that you will not do this again, ask Allah to forgive you for your mistake and then move on, brother and focus on what you can do to become a better Muslim.
May Allah bless you brother for your sincerity and your efforts in strengthening your faith. I am sure Allah loves you because you strive walking towards Him.
Whoever comes to me walking, I will come to him running. (Saheeh Muslim)
Keep this spirit up, brother.
I hope my answer has helped you,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.