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Feeling Forced to Expose My Past Sins

17 June, 2023
Q I know we are supposed to keep our sins hidden and not expose them. The thing is, what do we do when someone point-blank asks us in our face? I had this happen to me and I nervously laughed and said "you're not supposed to ask that!" Then they asked me another about a haram thing that I never did. I quickly, without even thinking, said "absolutely not!" They said, "So you DID do that other one? Otherwise, you would've gave the same answer." I confronted this person afterwards & told them how uncomfortable I felt and like they cornered me into an answer. They apologized and said they were just being silly. I don't find this humorous, if anything it triggers an anxiety in me that my past will haunt me and Allah may not forgive me. I feel some people don't understand this. I wish I was better at navigating these questions because regardless of what I say I feel like I'll end up exposing my sins like I just did in the example I gave.

Answer

If you have committed a sin, realized and repented of it, and then asked Allah’s forgiveness, you have taken the most important steps.

If someone later asks about it, you are not obliged to get into details about it.

If they keep asking, you can just keep repeating that it is between you and Allah (swt).

If you feel uncomfortable, just let them know and know that others need to respect your choice.

How do you deal with a situation like this without being triggered?

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.