Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum brother,
I would like to break down some points for you:
When you accepted to go to your friend’s house for dinner, as you have done many times before, you also accepted to be exposed to this temptation. Thus, in order to avoid such situations, Allah (swt) imposes some limitations on interaction between men and women.
You should not marry anyone purely out of guilt. You must have relational compatibility and future goals aligned as people intend to build a future family.
If your desire is to marry this woman, she does not need to be a Muslim – although it is preferable – as Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian or Jewish women.
As you said, you know that you can be forgiven and count on Allah’s (swt) mercy:
“And those who when they commit an indecency or do injustice to their souls remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their faults– and who forgives the faults but Allah, and (who) do not knowingly persist in what they have done.”(3:135)
Humans are prone to make mistakes; only Allah (swt) is perfect. You committed a sin, and it is normal to feel guilty about it. In fact, it is a sign of faith to feel remorse. It shows that you have a good heart, and your mistake is disturbing your peace of mind. If you sincerely believe in the vastness of Allah’s (swt) mercy, regardless of what sin you have done in the past, you should turn back into the Divine seeking His forgiveness, accept it, and move on with your good deeds as they replace bad deeds.
Try not to replay and relive this experience and accept that you made a mistake, and you can not change the past, but you can live better in the future. Remaining depressed or sad won’t change anything, and it is actually rude towards Allah (swt) because it shows you do not trust in His mercy. Instead, pray and believe in Allah’s (swt) mercy. The hadith bellow mentions that praying in congregation helps to increase good deeds:
“The reward of the prayer offered by a person in congregation is twenty five times greater than that of the prayer offered in one’s house or in the market (alone). And this is because if he performs ablution and does it perfectly and then proceeds to the mosque with the sole intention of praying, then for every step he takes towards the mosque, he is upgraded one degree in reward and his one sin is taken off (crossed out) from his accounts (of deeds). When he offers his prayer, the angels keep on asking Allah’s Blessings and Allah’s forgiveness for him as long as he is (staying) at his Musalla. They say, ‘O Allah! Bestow Your blessings upon him, be Merciful and kind to him.’ And one is regarded in prayer as long as one is waiting for the prayer.” (Bukhari)
What concerns me regarding your question is your decision to marry this woman because of the “incident.” Brother, if that is the only reason, you really need to think about it deeply and need more substance than guilt or shame to marry someone. You have to consider your compatibilities, attraction to each other, feelings, expectations, and, of course, religious devotion.
Religion seems to be important to you; thus, you must recognize that if she remains Christian, even though it is not forbidden to marry her, is is something you can compromise on? If not, then you can continue to make efforts to guide her to Islam or move on. Ultimately, one’s acceptance of Islam is a gift from Allah (swt), and it is not simply a matter of education, but of guidance from God (swt) Himself.
Salams,
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