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Parents Cannot Accept That I Converted to Islam

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jun 10, 2019

Question

I am the adult child of a man and woman who won’t accept my conversion to Islam at 22, accusing me of “mislabeling just for attention”. For a year and a half, I lied and told them that I abandoned it. That’s over. I am a committed Quranist who receives bullying from parents and one of my siblings. I am not married, mostly because of this lack of acceptance. I’m not asking society as a whole, but I thought my family loved me. And I’m not trying to convert them; they can be “agnostic Christians” if they want, I have tolerance.

Counselor

Answer


Parents Cannot Accept That I Converted to Islam

In this counseling answer:

• You can educate them on what a Muslim is by being a good example in your conduct and treatment of them.

• Your parents do love you. They are just confused, angry and probably scared.

• I kindly suggest dear sister that you if you seek out Muslim friendships in your community, go to the Masjid, and engage in Islamic events and activities.

• Stay close to Allah.


As Salam Alaykum dear sister, 

Thank you for writing to us. I am sorry to hear the difficulties you are going through with your parents and sibling due to your reverting to Islam. It is a common issue many reverts face.

Often times, a family needs time to accept that their child has reverted to Islam especially if that family is practicing a religion. It is not an easy process in some situations.

Sister, the best example you can offer of your dedication to Islam (opposed to it being an attention-getting change) is to live our Islamic principles in your everyday life. Along with our duties to Allah, our moral values and convictions, this includes kindness, patience, and tolerance. You should be kind to your family and patient with their misplaced anger and confusion. After all, this was probably a big shock to them and they do not know how to deal with it.

Parents Cannot Accept That I Converted to Islam - About Islam

Additionally, they have probably heard many false lies and horrible things about Islam on the news, in other media, and maybe even from their friends and religious place of worship.

You state you are not trying to “convert” them; however, you can educate them on what a Muslim is by being a good example in your conduct and treatment of them. Insha’Allah, they will see the changes in you for the positive and may one day come into acceptance.

Sister, your parents do love you. They are just confused, angry and probably scared. 

As far as being bullied by them, as I do not know to what extent this is happening but if it is such a condition that harms you, please do look into other living arrangements.


Check out this counseling video:

 


You state you are not married due to not being accepted as a Muslim if I am understanding you correctly. Sister, please forgive me, but this does not make sense to me. As a Muslim woman, a Muslim man would be your choice as a marriage partner. I kindly suggest dear sister that you if you have not already, seek out Muslim friendships in your community, go to the Masjid, and engage in Islamic events and activities. 

By building up an Islamic foundation socially and educationally, it will insha’Allah, provide you with solid supports. Our sisters are a great source of strength and comfort. Your friendships with other Muslim sisters will prove to be most treasured in your journey in Islam.

Insha’Allah, as you incorporate more of your Islamic attributes at home dealing with your family, you will come from a position of security and peace as opposed to a position of defense. Insha’Allah, your family will also “fall back” and adopt a more accepting and peaceful approach.

Stay close to Allah sister, and seek His mercy, guidance, and protection throughout your journey in Islam.

We wish you the best.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

4 Personal Challenges That May Hinder Your Dawah Effort

Challenges of Being a New Muslim in America Today

The Challenges Muslim Converts Face When It Comes to Marriage




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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