Q My mom has been single for a very long time.

She's known one of her former co-workers for a very long time. And I know they're thinking about getting married in the future. I've only recently found out after I confronted her about their "relationship". Meaning it's not a topic we really talk about. But I've met him a couple of times before due to certain circumstances.

However a few days ago, I've overheard their phone call since my mother and him were fighting. From what I've heard it seems he has compared her to other women (in a disrespectful manner). He also makes her feel guilty by saying she isn't grateful for what he has done for her. Although I'm very sure that isn't true. My mother is very modest and grateful. She seemed to be hurt by his words/comments. I don't want to say this but isn't he manipulating her?

He also appears to be very controlling, commenting on what she buys (e.g., saying she goes grocery shopping too often or wanting to see her amazon cart). I could understand it if they were married and lived together but it's her own money and responsibility.

He also tries to control my mom's and my relationship. Saying I should do this and shouldn't do that (e.g., saying I should address her in a certain way). Although he doesn't have any authority over me. But my mom wants me to address her in that certain way when he's around. It seems she's walking on egg shells around him and can't express herself freely/wants to avoid conflict.

He also wants to be right all the time (the direct translation for the word I mean is bossy).

I'm sure these aren't the only topics they argue about. Most of their phone calls end up in them fighting. She does confront him about his behavior but I don't think he's bettering himself and she just forgives him after a while.

I feel uncomfortable by this behavior. I don't hate him but I don't think he's treating my mom the way she deserves to be treated.

I'm not sure how to talk to my mom about this topic. I want to protect her from an "abusive/controlling" marriage but I don't want to hurt her feelings. And be the reason she stays single. She said that she isn't sure if she really is going to marry him but she seems to be attached to him anyway. I don't want her to go through a difficult time.

Furthermore, it's very likely that they would be having children if they were to get married. I'm worried that their conflicts aren't going to stop in the future and that their children would suffer from it. I'm almost an adult and if I were to move in with them, I would be able to out if their arguments would start to be too much for me to handle. The children wouldn't be able to. It's a responsibility I'm not sure they're really thinking about. I'm not even sure if they notice how much they argue.

Please help me on how to talk to my mother about this! I want her to know that I'm just worried about her. I also don't want neither of them to waste their time when they aren't going to get married anyways.

Should I talk to her or should I let her make her own choices?

Thank you very very much!