Also, I can't see a Muslim healer for this because I'm hiding my conversion to Islam from my parents because they're against Islam.
In this counseling answer:
• Getting a referral to see a psychologist could be very helpful for you.
• Become acquainted with other sisters so that you can learn together and be close to those who also follow the same religion as you.
• Regarding getting closer to Allah, there are a few things you could try to improve the situation. Firstly, take your time.
Wa Alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,
Living with an illness like schizophrenia can be very difficult in many ways. In your case, you also have the added difficulty of being unable to seek a solution in the way you hope to due to your parents’ attitude towards Islam.
Alhamdulillah, the medicines help you to stabilize you, and from an Islamic perspective, this is fine also. If they are working for you, then do please continue with them.
Likewise, seeking psychological solutions is also a viable option. Getting a referral to see a psychologist could be very helpful for you. It will allow you so seek treatment that your pants will be opposed to.
However, of course, as a Muslim, you would like to seek an Islamic solution, and in sha Allah this will also be beneficial to you. You have tried listening to Ruqyah and getting closer to Allah but have not yet seen any success with this.
Regarding the Ruqyah, I would suggest continuing with it. Maybe you don’t feel it working yet, but in sha Allah with time and patience, you will see some improvements.
Regarding getting closer to Allah, there are a few things you could try to improve the situation. Firstly, take your time. Work on things one at a time. If you overwhelm yourself with too many things, it will defeat the purpose of what you are doing. This is especially so when you are also battling any symptoms of schizophrenia.
So, for example, begin by working on getting closer to Allah through salah. Pray your obligatory prayers and then as you get more comfortable add in the Sunnah and nafl prayers.
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Following this, you might try and increase your connection through the Qur’an. Memorize some short surahs and learn the meanings. This will also help with your prayer as you come to understand what you are reciting. You might also think of signing up to a course to learn more about Islam and the Prophet Muhammad. As you learn about the history of Islam, you will come to see the beauty of Islam which will strengthen then your relationship with Allah further.
Then, as time progresses, you might do things like voluntary fasts. Take these things slowly, one step at a time so that you can appreciate each and every aspect.
In the meantime, become acquainted with other sisters so that you can learn together and be close to those who also follow the same religion as you. If you can’t do this in person, it is easy now to do this in the online space. You may also find fellow revert sisters who have faced the same with their own parents who may have advice on how to deal with them effectively when it comes to disclosing their reversion. They may also be able to direct you to a Muslim healer online so the latest you do not need to discuss such things with your parents until you are ready.
May Allah make things easy for you and bring you to cure in your illness.
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