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Parents Are Against My Marriage Plans

23 September, 2023
Q Assalamualaikum

It’s been a long time I am going through with this situation and don't know what to do.

There is a girl which I like for the sake of Allah almighty and wanted to do nikkah with her want to spend my time with her in halal way.

Unfortunately, when I talked with my family، they rejected her saying that she is out of our caste. Worst part is they didn't even bother to see how she looks or how her family is. My family started talking on me that I am not a good person, even when I pray before Allah Almighty, they say in front of me that your prayers are not going to be answers and if I pray late or do any other tasbih they say you are doing Amal and it’s not going to happen we will not accept her.

Sometimes I feel very helpless. I feel very sad when my own family say that your prayers your namaz and tasbih is just fake. They even say just go to her leave us.

But still, I make Dua for her every time believing on Allah Almighty that he will give me her with his mercy. Please tell me what to do I really want to marry her in halal way.


Parents usually want the best for their children, although sometimes they have their own idea about what the best is. Even if their kids are adults and supposed to make their own decisions.

As long as your goals and choices are in line with the teachings of Islam, there should be no obstacle on their side.  

So, if you make sure that you base your decision on religious criteria, you should be able to get along with your plan. This doesn’t mean disrespecting your parents.

Finally, it is your marriage, and you will be the one who lives with your future spouse.

What can you do?

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.