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Mom Got Married to a Non-Muslim…Please Advise!

07 January, 2023
Q Salam u alaikum

My mother started seeing a non-Muslim a couple of years ago and didn’t tell us about it. She would sneak around with him and lie to us for a long time about it. She knew we all disagreed with it and was upset at her actions yet she still did it. Her character and appearance started to become less Islamic it was really hard for us to deal with. We found out that she had married him and things became a lot worse. Us daughters are very uncomfortable with the situation yet my mother continues to spend every night with him and disregard our feelings about the situation because she claims they are now married so they can basically do as they please.

Please can you give me Islamic advice about the situation so that I can provide my mother with reason as her actions aren’t right but she cannot take criticism. I am hoping she will listen to Islam.

Thank you, Salam

Answer

It is very understandable that you are worried for your loved ones’ spirituality, and you fear Allah for your mother

However, make sure that your communication and criticism do not push her even further away from Islam. 

Take another approach and build a kind and trusting relationship with her. 

Talk about everyday things with her instead of her marriage, and be more welcoming to his husband in the family. Only Allah knows if he will eventually choose Islam.

And when it is appropriate, share your concern about her faith and relationship with Allah. Focus on this instead of what she is doing wrong. 

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.