Lately, I feel so restless I can barely sleep properly. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or what’s bothering me, but I just want to cry every time I feel that I’m so alone.
I have no one and I don’t even talk to anyone.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• You should visit your doctor to check that there are no underlying conditions causing your physical symptoms of restlessness.
• Understanding what your triggers are will make it easier for you to deal with the exact cause of your difficulties more effectively.
Social contact with others is key to healthy psychological and emotional well-being.
Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,
It sounds there are a couple of different components to your situation that is causing you distress; the physical side of being constantly restless as well as the emotional and psychological component that stems from your loneliness.
Due to this combination, there are a couple of ways to move forward and overcome dealing with all the components of your situation.
Identifying the Source
Firstly, you should visit your doctor to check that there are no underlying conditions causing your physical symptoms of restlessness.
If it is a physical condition, there are medical treatments available to treat it, in shaa’ Allah.
It may be a secondary consequence of having a medical condition such as this that is causing psychological distress.
It may be due to something like lack of sleep due to a restless pattern that’s preventing your body from getting the necessary rest to function properly.
If all medical conditions are ruled out, then you should investigate possible psychological causes for your symptoms.
The fact that you mention feeling lonely with no one to talk to indicates that it could potentially be the cause of psychological distress, which in turn is causing your restlessness.
It is often the case that psychological symptoms are accompanied by physical manifestations of the same, sometimes making it difficult to distinguish whether a physical condition is a primary cause or a psychological one.
Understanding the Underlying Psychological Issues
If the latter is the case, then you can begin by trying to identify the causes of your restlessness by identifying what precisely is bothering you.
You mention not knowing what exactly is bothering you, so you might consider keeping a journal to track your mood daily.
You could give yourself a daily rating based on what’s happening and how you feel about it, either in words or on a scale of 1-10.
After a week or so, take some time to analyze your journal entries to see if you can notice any patterns.
Is there any event, time of a day, or place that triggers low feelings?
Understanding what your triggers are will make it easier for you to deal with the exact cause of your difficulties more effectively.
Your journaling may reveal that it is specifically moments when you feel alone or need others by your side that you are feeling particularly down, or it may not.
However, your query suggests that this could be the case as you are conscious that this is an issue for you.
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This is not surprising, as social contact with others is key to healthy psychological and emotional well-being.
So, regardless of whether you identify this as the cause of your restlessness, it’s something you should work on for your overall health.
Maintain A Healthy Social Life
If you have some old friends, contact them, meet up with them, or invite them to your house.
Try maintaining contact regularly. If not, or in addition to this, attend local meetups for sisters in your local masjid, if this exists in your local community, and get actively involved in things that they do.
This will be a great faith booster as well as a chance to meet others who follow the same religion as yourself.
Alternatively, if you have a hobby or something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t, find a local club and sign up to meet with others who share similar interests to you.
Either of these options will give you an opportunity to meet with others and do something meaningful for yourself.
This will certainly help with the feelings of restlessness that you are experiencing by filling a void, providing you with psychological comfort, and even keeping you busy so that you are more likely to sleep well.
May Allah ease your affairs and grant you good health, both physically and psychologically.
Salam,
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