I may be young, but I can tell you with all confidence, school grabbed my happiness, self-confidence, and excitement to learn by the throat and slashed it's head off.
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.
How am I going to fulfill that? How, when my happiness, self-confidence, and excitement to learn have been starved out.
How am I going to love my life again? How am I going to be able to do my best again, when my best is nonexistent now.
How am I going to be a good mu'min (believer) again, when the last grains of hope I have are starving out.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Brother, make a list of the things regarding events in your life that could have affected the way you feel about school as well as your accomplishments, good points, and blessings from Allah.
Do try to socialize with the brothers at the Masjid who are your friends in order to create a balance in your life.
Stay close to Allah, keep your prayers, make duaa, as well as read Qur’an for strength and guidance.
Seek counseling.
As salamu alaykum brother,
Thank you for writing to us with your concerns about education.
I am sorry to hear that you have lost your joy, happiness and feel confused at this time.
You stated that your joyful feelings just went away and you do not know what to do. You state that school has taken away your happiness, self-confidence and excitement to learn.
School has Taken Joy of Leaning and Joy of Life
Brother I am not sure what happened at the school to cause this. Were you being bullied, put down, or harmed in any way? Did any students or staff make fun of you or threaten you?
If this is the case it needs to be reported to your parents. If any abuse has occurred it also needs to be reported to the authorities.
Possible Causes of Unhappiness
If abuse, bullying, or other events did not occur at the school, it may stem from other places or causes.
If there were any events, disappointments, or stressor’s which caused you to lose your zest for learning and education, it needs to be explored.
Insha’Allah, examine the time frame when you lost your happiness and zest for life.
Questions
Around the time you lost your happiness for life and learning, were there any significant changes in your life such as a stressful event?
Did you experience a major disappointment or many little disappointments? Did something happen within your family home, with your health and so forth?
Insha’Allah, try to pinpoint that time and make a list of all the things that were going on at the time. You may wish to write down next to these events how you felt.
This will help you sort through the possibility of things that may have happened that could have affected your emotions and resulted in your loss of happiness and loving life.
Looking at the Blessings and Positives
I kindly suggest insha’Allah that you also look at the positive things in your life. Again, make a list.
Include what your accomplishments are, what are your strengths, what are your dreams and hopes, what things make you happy and feel joyful to you.
Also, take time to pray to Allah and thank Him for the many blessings He has given you, and write down the blessings that Allah has given you.
This could include a home to live in, a loving family, friends, food, safety, and opportunities. Once you have your lists, which would comprise a sort of a journal, read it to see where you can strengthen the blessings and happiness goals.
This would include focusing on positive things and attributes that you possess as a young man as well as the opportunities that are before you.
If anything has come up in your list as a significant deterrent to happiness and productivity, such as an illness in the family, moving, or inter family problems for example, you may wish to address them if you are able to.
If you cannot change them, you may wish to accept things for the way they are and continue to move on with your life.
Dedication during Tests and Trials.
Brother, it is important to make the dedication to yourself that you will rise above any obstacles that you are presented with.
We have many tests and trials in this life and this could be one you are going through.
We need to be dedicated and determined to reach our goals by increasing our iman. Depend on Allah to guide you through.
Check out this counseling video:
Staying Close to Allah: Increasing Iman
I kindly suggest insha’Allah to ensure you are keeping up with your five daily prayers, making duaa, reading Qur’an, attending the Masjid for prayers, as well as participating in up building social events with the brothers so you will have a balance.
By seeking Allah’s favor and help you will insha’Allah see your feelings of despair change. Education is incumbent upon us as Muslims, but so is good health including good mental health.
Without these, obtaining education may be difficult thus we must do what we can to improve anything which is interfering with our happiness, serving Allah, and living life to it’s fullest in joy.
Ongoing Counseling
Brother if you find that despite analyzing the situation and trying to correct it, no results are showing, you may wish to seek out counseling on a regular basis.
Perhaps it is that you are depressed and need the little bit of extra guidance and help dealing with your situation. Counseling on a regular basis may help you make sense of how and why you are feeling the way you are.
There are also support groups within some Islamic communities that help teens sort out difficulties they may be experiencing. Please ask your imam if these groups are available in your community.
While it may be hard to share what you are feeling with others, you may soon find out that others are feeling similar to how you are feeling.
Support groups help one develop skills to over-come difficulties, provides a safe place to talk with others your age who may be feeling similar emotions, and it provides success stories of others which is uplifting and inspirational.
Possible Depression
If you are depressed, it is usually treatable, but you have to take that first step. Additionally, you are not alone.
Sadly, there are millions of people who suffer from depression either currently, or in the past. Depression is very common but it is treatable.
Conclusion
Brother please do make the lists regarding events in your life that could have affected the way you feel about school as well as your accomplishments, good points, and blessings from Allah.
Do try to socialize with the brothers at the Masjid who are your friends in order to create a balance in your life.
Stay close to Allah, keep your prayers, make duaa, as well as read Qur’an for strength and guidance.
If you do not find any relief from introspection and examining your situation as well as the other points, please do seek out counseling to help resolve your issue. We wish you the best.
salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/spirituality/becoming-a-grateful-servant-of-allah/
https://aboutislam.net/spirituality/allah-speaks-to-the-sad-person/