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I Am Ugly & Hopeless: Allah Does Not Respond

20 October, 2023
Q Assalamualaikum. I have been living one of the most miserable life that anyone can get. I am an IT employee who has always been a kind hearted person and loyal to others. I always try to do good deeds but somehow I have been going into depression day by day. I am a very ugly person or I would say the most ugly person that you could imagine. All my friends tease me about my looks, my relatives used to talk about me regarding my ugliness. I am just kind of stuck at home because wherever I go out I used to hear stuff about my ugliness. I wanted to travel, meet my friends, roam here and there and wanted to enjoy my life. But I am kind of hopeless and unable to do anything. Everyday my life goes like hell. I weep in my room, cry but have none to share my thoughts with. I rarely have friends or anyone to talk to. I did a lot of prayer for this but didn't get any response from Allah. Now I am losing the faith in Allah and praying to other religion God for providing me with a normal life. I pray to Allah only for death. I know whatever life is left for me that will be a complete hell.


In this counseling answer:

  • Do things to help you feel better about the way you look.
  • Shift your main focus away from your looks and strengthen your connection with Allah.
  • If people are rejecting you based on your looks, then they really aren’t worth being friends with.

Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

Unfortunately, at the moment you are experiencing insecurities about your looks to the point that they are causing you severe levels of distress

There are a couple of ways you can deal with these, both practically and by addressing your mindset in accordance with Islam. 

In sha Allah, I hope this will direct you away from stressful times in the hope of an improved outlook.

Take Care of Yourself

On a practical level, regardless of how you look, do your best to take good care of yourself. 

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Eat well, exercise, and get sufficient sleep each night. This will make you feel healthy

On top of this, you can do things to help you feel better about the way you look, such as taking regular showers, wearing fragrance, and dressing well. 

This may make you look more attractive, but most importantly, it will help you improve your perception of your looks and how you feel about yourself.

Shift Your Focus 

Whilst you can change your looks in this way to some extent, you can’t change them dramatically. The more important thing is to focus on prayer and being good to those who accept you for who you are and not for how you look. 

Shift your main focus away from your looks and more towards what is important. 

Strengthen your connection with Allah so that you will be satisfied with His divine decree and accept yourself as Allah made you. 

In sha Allah, this will turn you away from the sins of wishing for death and turning to gods other than Allah. This is not the solution.

Fix Your Mindset 

Above all this, and perhaps something that will be more effective in your situation, is to fix your mindset. 

Remember that life isn’t all about looks. Do you yourself judge people by the way they look? Do you frown upon them if they don’t look attractive or assume the worst of them? 

Hopefully, as a God-fearing man, you do not, but it’s always good practice to look at yourself and your attitudes toward others first.

Character Matters

The most important attribute over looks is character, and, Alhamdulillah, you are of good character. This is what matters and what you should focus on.

If you spend too much time worrying about your looks, this will start impacting your character in a negative way. 

A good character is what is most important in the sight of Allah, and knowing that you are pleasing Him should bring you happiness.

Pleasing Allah is more important than pleasing people, but do also remember that if people are rejecting you based on your looks, then they really aren’t worth being friends with anyway!

Find blessings in your situation as a natural way to filter out people that are not good for you. 

Those who chose to be friends with you based on your character over your looks are those worth keeping and have better intentions.

May Allah make you pleased with His will and guide you on the straight path. May He bless you with good people in your life who will accept you as you are and bring happiness and contentment to your life.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (