How can I find happiness? How can I find the urge to continue living?
I can tolerate anything but innocent children's suffering makes me feel like death punishment is better than this. At least I don't have to see their suffering.
I am not happy what is happening to my brothers and sisters to G*az. I want them to have at least a respectful life. I am feeling that soon I am going to be mentally unstable. Even when I laugh, I ask myself, I am laughing whereas my brothers and sisters are hungry.
I feel I deserve punishment, I feel guilty. Living with this feeling every single day.
Answer
- Inequality, poverty, illness, war, and struggle have always been part of human history, whether or not we witnessed them directly. This is how Allah (SWT) created the world—with wisdom and purpose.
- Remember that Allah has placed you exactly where He wanted you to be and blessed you with what He chose for you. Everything you have is a gift from Allah, and being grateful for those blessings is a form of worship.
Assalamualaikum, sister,
Thank you for your question. You’ve expressed that you are feeling guilty because so many of our brothers and sisters, and other people around the world, are suffering right now. Many are hungry, without shelter, and chasing food and water trucks—while you are planning a vacation. You feel that it’s not fair, that you don’t deserve to be happy while others are in pain, and this is affecting your mental stability as these feelings continue each day.
Masha’Allah, sister, for your sensitivity, empathy, and awareness of human suffering, as well as your understanding of how blessed you are. These are signs of a compassionate heart and deep faith.
Feeling Guilty for Human Suffering
Yes, you are right—it is not fair, and it is not just. But we must understand that this has been part of the human condition for a very long time. Also, feeling guilty for seeing others suffering, having altruism is a very human trait, masallah.
The difference today is that, through technology, we can see what’s happening far beyond our local neighborhoods, cities, or countries.
We are now aware of suffering across the world, but that does not mean it didn’t exist before. Inequality, poverty, illness, war, and struggle have always been part of human history, whether or not we witnessed them directly.
This is how Allah (SWT) created the world—with wisdom and purpose. There is always hikmah (wisdom) behind everything, even in suffering.
What is the wisdom?
Sometimes, witnessing the hardship of others inspires those with more capacity—whether financial, emotional, or physical—to take action and help. It can also motivate humanity as a whole to seek solutions. So, there is good in being aware of others’ suffering, as long as it leads to compassion and positive action rather than despair or paralysis.
However, sister, the danger lies in feeling overly guilty or personally responsible for what is beyond your control. It is important to ask yourself: What can I realistically do to ease the suffering of others from where I am?
Your contribution doesn’t have to be grand. It can be du’a (prayer), charity, or supporting local initiatives that help those in need. Remember that Allah has placed you exactly where He wanted you to be and blessed you with what He chose for you.
Everything you have is a gift from Allah, and being grateful for those blessings is a form of worship. Questioning why you have them, or feeling unworthy of them, is not the right approach—it indirectly questions Allah’s wisdom.
If Allah has granted you safety and security—both of which are basic human rights in Islam—you do not need to feel guilty for that. Rather, be thankful and use those blessings as tools to help others. Perhaps Allah gave you stability precisely so that you can support others through your emotional, physical, or financial capacities.
What can you do?
Also remember, the people who suffer are not always far away. There may be people near you who need help and kindness too. The key is to transform your feelings of guilt into meaningful action. That way, you can feel connected to humanity and find peace in knowing you are doing your part.
For example, you can make du’a every day for our brothers and sisters suffering in Gaza, and for others around the world—children who are sick, hungry, or displaced. You can spread awareness, support charities, or volunteer with humanitarian organizations. Even small acts—like planting a tree, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said—are forms of charity, because they benefit others.
So, channel your empathy into action, and trust that Allah knows your limits. You are not responsible for what lies beyond your ability and for the damage caused by others. Others who have more power or resources bear their own responsibilities, and they will be accountable for them.
Reach out
Finally, if constantly seeing distressing news affects your mental well-being, it’s okay to reduce your exposure. It does not mean that you do not care.
Your sadness does not solve their problems—it only harms your own stability, which is not what Allah wants for you. Islam encourages balance, strength, and hope, even in difficult times.
Also, if you find yourself feeling desperate, sad, or distressed for a prolonged period — for example, crying often, struggling to sleep, or feeling constantly low — these may be signs of emotional burnout, anxiety, or even depression.
If you start questioning your own worth, the purpose of your life, or whether you deserve to exist, and these thoughts persist, please seek support. Talk to your family, your parents, or loved ones. Express to them how you are feeling and let them know that you are struggling.
It’s very important not to carry these feelings alone. Sometimes professional help may be needed, and that’s completely okay. Other times, simply opening up to trusted people and sharing what’s on your heart can bring great relief and comfort.
The most important thing is to reach out — just like you did by writing this message. Masha’Allah, sister, for taking that step. Keep it up, and remember that Allah is always with you.
I hope this helps,