This has led to public confrontations at school, rumors spreading about my character, and friendships ending because others do not want to be associated with the conflict. As someone who comes from a community where reputation and modesty are taken very seriously, I am deeply worried about how this may impact not only my mental health and school life now, but also my future within my family and community.
With Ramadan approaching, I want to handle this in a way that aligns with my faith, avoids further harm, and allows me to move forward with dignity, but I am unsure how to respond when I feel extremely hurt, embarrassed, angry, and isolated.
I would appreciate advice on how to navigate this situation in a way that protects my character and brings me closer to Allah rather than further into conflict.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- Those who truly trust you and care about you will seek the truth and listen to your words. So this situation – while painful – will also show you who your real friends are and who you can truly trust.
- You have the right to inform them that you may take legal steps if the behavior continues or is not corrected. Holding people accountable is not revenge; it is simply the consequence of their actions.
- Speak to authorities at school, trusted members of your family, community leaders or a counselor who may be able to support you.
Assalamu alaikum, brother,
Thank you for your question. You explained that you were part of a misunderstanding between friends that turned into group chats being shared and private messages being sent to people outside of the situation. Anonymous social media accounts were also made about you using your personal photos. This has led to public confrontations at school, rumors spreading about your character, and friendships ending because others do not want to be associated with the conflict.
This has left you feeling extremely hurt, embarrassed, angry, and isolated. You are asking for some guidance on how to deal with this situation.
First of all, I am really sorry to hear all of that. I want you to understand that your reactions—your feelings of hurt, embarrassment, and anger—are absolutely understandable. These emotions are natural consequences of what happened to you.
It is abuse, not a joke
I am not sure whether your friends are aware of the actual severity of their actions, but their behavior is absolutely unacceptable. We are talking about cyberbullying, which is a form of psychological abuse.
These things are not jokes when they leave you with feelings of humiliation, embarrassment and deep betrayal. Alhamdulillah, by now spreading misinformation and violating someone’s dignity is even considered a legal matter in some places.
Using someone’s information online without their consent is a misuse of power and a form of abuse. In some countries, legislation already regulates this as a criminal act depending on the severity of the case.
I am saying this because I want you to know that it is completely understandable that you feel this way because you were harmed. What happened is not right. Regardless of whether you made mistakes or said something you regret, exposing your private matters, making fun of you, distorting reality, spreading misinformation, and defaming someone violates your dignity.
What can you do?
One thing to remember is that Allah SWT knows the truth. You know the truth as well. Those who truly trust you and care about you will seek the truth and listen to your words. So this situation – while painful – will also show you who your real friends are and who you can truly trust.
You may try to approach these friends and let them know that what they are doing is harmful. Explain that they are spreading misinformation and causing damage to you. Ask them to put themselves into your shoes; would they still find all this funny?
Ask them to remove the images or information about you and, if possible, to correct the situation publicly and restore your dignity. I know that you won’t be able to control their behavior, but at least you can advise them and give them the opportunity to make things right.
If you live in a country where these actions are regulated, you have the right to inform them that you may take legal steps if the behavior continues or is not corrected. Not as a threat or a punishment. Holding people accountable is not revenge; it is simply the consequence of their actions.
For that, it would also be wise to keep evidence of what happened. Take screenshots of messages, posts, and accounts that are using your photos or spreading rumors. If the situation needs to be addressed by the school, parents, or even legally, this documentation can be very helpful.
Unfortunately, this is a test, and an increasing number of young people are experiencing similar situations today. On one hand, this can also be something to reflect on so that you can avoid situations like this in the future.
It is not your shame
Remember: their wrongdoing is not your shame. Try not to isolate yourself. Speak to authorities at school, trusted members of your family, community leaders or a counselor who may be able to support you. They can help to clarify the situation and restore the truth about what happened. Having supportive people around you can make a big difference.
They also have to get prepared to face the growing online abuse, and guide students and communities from a place of justice and understanding. Situations like this can happen to other people as well, so addressing it properly may help prevent it from happening to someone else.
Having taqwa online
Also, think about what is your takeaway from this.
How can you be more conscious in your use of the internet and social media? What kind of images or information do you share about yourself? Here are some practical steps: Report the accounts using your photos or add hurtful comments about you, adjust privacy settings, avoid engaging with people who are trying to provoke you.
It is extremely important to always have taqwa and awareness when dealing with online spaces. Unfortunately, even among people with whom we let our guard down—especially among friends or in group chats.
People often behave with fewer boundaries and manners online than they would in real life. But we should follow the same moral guidelines online that we follow offline.
I hope this helps and that Allah makes things easier for you.