Where Will I Find My Future Husband?

12 June, 2020
Q Salam Aleikom. I am 28 years and feel pressured to get married. My parents are non-Muslims, and I have no idea how could I meet my husband. Friends? Mosques? Online?

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• As you stated you feel pressured, it may be an indication that you are not ready to get married at this point.

• Halal ways to find your spouse include asking your Muslim friends, inquiring at the Masjid, at Islamic events, or online Muslim platforms.

• If you choose online Muslim platforms, please do ensure that they are reputable.

• Make a list of the qualities you would like in a future husband. know who you are looking for.


As Salamu Alaykum dear sister,

As I understand your feelings, you are 28 years old and feel pressure to get married. You say that your parents are non-Muslim, and you have no idea how you could meet a future husband.

Feeling Pressured: Do you want to Marry?

First of all sister, the question you need to ask yourself is- do you want to get married right now? As you stated you feel pressured, it may be an indication that you are not ready to get married at this point.

If you do not feel you are ready for marriage yet, that is okay. Perhaps you are in the middle of schooling or a career that you would like to get settled. There should be no pressure to get married.

Ways to Seek a Spouse

Sister, if you do want to get married now or in the future, you can meet a future husband any way that you choose as long as it is halal. This would include asking your Muslim friends, inquiring at the Masjid, at Islamic events, or online Muslim platforms.

Where Will I Find My Future Husband? - About Islam

Keeping it Halal

If you choose online Muslim platforms, please do ensure that they are reputable. Also, ensure that if you speak with anybody or correspond with someone make sure that they are verifiable and that another sister is with you to help you compose conversations.

Tips Prior to Seeking a Spouse

I would kindly suggest insha’Allah, if you are thinking about getting married, make a list of the qualities you would like in a future husband.

This would include of course Islamic qualities and foundations for your marriage. It may also include a compatibility list which are things/issues that you would like to be compatible on.

It may also include specific traits such as someone who is career-oriented, someone who is kind and compassionate, someone who has a close relationship with his family, or even someone who has an interest in an example, in the environment or doing charity work.


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The point is,  your list should include a few points that you are interested in and possibly seek someone who has the same interests to increase compatibility. When we have the same or similar interests, it helps one bond during the marriage process.

We do not have to have all similar interests; however, a few are nice! You may also wish to take pre-marital classes at your local Islamic center. These classes are very beneficial in regard to your rights and responsibilities, tips for a successful marriage, as well as advice on overcoming obstacles.

Conclusion

Sister, please determine if you truly want to get married right now, or if you are just feeling pressured.

If it is just due to pressure, please remember that there is to be no pressure in Islam regarding getting married. You will know when it is right for you. If you do seek to marry, please consider the above tips,

We wish you the best!

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.