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Does Penis Size Matter in Marital Bed?

09 November, 2016
Q As-Salamu Alaikum. This is a personal question and I really need your help and advice. I really want to get married because I don't want to fall into sins. I used to masturbate a lot, but alhamdulillah recently I left it completely. May Allah keep me firm in this. I believe the problem what is disturbing me a lot and making me scared of getting married is my male organ which is very small. I’m scared that I won't be successful in my marriage life. Please I need your counseling on this. Thank you.

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,

It is good to hear you have given up masturbation, alhumdulilah, and are now prepared to marry. May Allah (swt) bless you in your efforts and reward you with a pious wife.

While a lot of men worry about the size of their organ, it is often due to unrealistic comparisons they may have seen in porno or discussions wherein men brag about their size (mostly not telling the truth) from media messages or from not being educated on whatever it is that constitutes “big or small”. In fact, over 50% of men are unhappy with their penis size! Men’s Health stated that “most men underestimate the size of their penis. In a study at the University of Pittsburgh, US, 26% of men gauged their own penis size as below average, and only 5% ticked the above average box. What’s more, research from the University of Saskatchewan, Canada, showed that 86% of men said their penis size worries vanished after they were educated about penis size.” According to their studies, flaccid size is an average length of 3.43 inches and erection size is 5.03 inches.

I suspect, dear brother, that you are quite normal. Furthermore, if you do fall short from these norms, remember they are still averages with many sizes falling below these measures. Additionally, when you are married and in a loving relationship, size is not always what gives pleasure; it is technique and the love between the husband and wife.

I suggest that instead of worrying about size, you become familiar with what pleases your wife, become familiar with her body after you are married as each woman is different as well! Finding out about what pleasures each other as husband and wife is a wonderful experience, and it really has nothing to do with organ size, but has all to do with the connection and bond you form as a married couple.

Please see the links below dear brother for further guidance, and in sha’ Allah you will find that you are quite adequate and realize this is a common fear a lot of men have.

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We wish you the best in your future plans for marriage!

Salam,

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.