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Parents Force Me to Marry a Hindu Guy

11 April, 2018
Q Assalamualaikum. I am a reverted Muslimah from India. My parents and whole family follows Hinduism and they don't like Muslims and Islam. As my age is now 27, my parents are forcing me a lot to get married. Of course, they have searched a Hindu guy. I have chosen for myself for marriage, an Islamic guy who is very much in deen MashaAllah. But I know my parents will never allow me to marry an Islamic guy. Now I am in a lot of confusion as what to do now for the following reasons: as I am a Muslimah, I can't marry a non-Muslim guy. It is prohibited. 2. I can't go against my parents as it is written in Quran that you can't go against your parents except that they force you to worship idols. 3. I can't remain unmarried as my parents will become worried about this decision of mine. It is also not allowed in Islam to hurt your parents. Also, they are not young enough now to bear this type of fact that their only daughter is not ready to get married. Please advise me on this urgently what I should do. The guy with whom I want to do nikaah is a really pious guy MashaAllah, I know him for 11 years. Please guide me.


In this counseling answer:

  • In Islam, no one can force a woman to marry.
  • You need to explain to your parents that you are Muslim and you yourself have found one whom you wish to marry. You are an adult who is free to make her own decisions and choices.
  • If they are not approachable, marry this Muslim brother without their blessings.

As Salamu Alaykum dear sister,

As you are 27 and Muslim, I am wondering if you are living with your Hindu family. If not, do they know you are Muslim? If you do live with them or near them, how do they not know you are Muslim?

At any rate, you are about to be married. On one hand, you have already met a Muslim whom you wish to marry. Alhumdulilah. On the other hand, your parents have picked out a Hindu man for you and expect you to marry him. Finally, your parents are very opposed to Muslims and Islam.

Sister, you need to speak with your parents insha’Allah and explain to them that you are Muslim and you yourself have found one whom you wish to marry.

Of course, they will be very upset as I can imagine. However, you are grown and you are an adult who is free to make her own decisions and choices. Yes, we strive to please our parents and we seek to make them happy. However, this cannot always be the case.

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In Islam, no one can force a woman to marry. A woman is free to choose who it is she will marry. You are Muslim now.

Additionally, as it is prohibited for you to marry a non-Muslim. It is permissible for you to go against your parents in this case as they are trying to get you to go against what Allah has stated is not allowed.  You are to follow Allah’s commands above your parents. This includes marrying a non-Muslim.

I am not an Islamic scholar so should you be confused by this, please do feel free to write the “Ask the Scholar” section. They may be able to make this concept clearer for you insha’Allah. You are not to follow your parents’ demands to marry one who is not permissible to you and it will not be a sin if you do go against them.

While I understand this does not negate your issue nor help deal with the cultural constraints you are up against, just know that you have Allah “on your side”.

I would kindly suggest that if they are approachable that you speak with them about your life. Tell them you are Muslim and you found a nice Muslim brother whom you wish to marry.

If they are not approachable, I would kindly suggest that you marry this Muslim brother without their blessings (you do not need permission) and try to repair the relationship with them afterward insha’Allah.

While this is not an ideal situation that you are facing dear sister, there are many tests and trials in this life. The main thing is that we seek to obey and please Allah.

We wish you the best,


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

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Arranged Marriage: Muslim Women Speak Out

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.