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I Found Her Pictures on Social Media Without Hijab

11 June, 2022
Q I found out through pictures on social media that my fiancé did not use proper Hijab and mixed freely with men while in the first year of university. She would hang out in places like the beach where everyone was wearing shorts and T-shirts.

My fiancé wears a proper hijab now and that was how I first met her. I did not ask her directly about the pictures but asked about her views on hijab, for which she said that she didn’t use to wear it properly but chose to do so after her first year in university. However, the fact that such pictures are still up on the internet hurts me deeply as I had assumed that she would have taken it down if she knew the importance of observing hijab.

I do not know how to bring up this sensitive topic to her without offending her. I don’t want her to make a decision for my sake. I want her to make the decision for Allah. A secondary fear that I have is that if she does not feel hijab is as important, she might not raise the kids with the same understanding. And it is very easy to go astray in the secular environment that kids grow up in.


If you met her when she was already wearing hijab, and she wears it consistently; this means that she has gone through a positive change. 

Also, she was sincere about her past, and now she is more committed to Islamic values. Encourage and reinforce this present behavior to grow together spiritually. 

Clear communication is essential: you did not ask about these pictures, rather about her attitude towards hijab now. Making assumptions instead of direct questions leads to further doubts and conflict.

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Try to start a conversation about these images and find out what she really thinks about them.

How to handle this situation? Click here and listen to the answer!

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.