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Don’t Find Him Attractive…Should I Divorce?

02 May, 2024
Q Salam,

Just a quick family background. My mum and dad have separated, they've not had a great relationship. My dad's family would always hate on my mum and look down on her and wait for her failures. Due to that fact my mums been very self-conscious and strict.

She's not "forced" me into marriage but whenever I'd say, "no" or "I'm not ready" she'd say that you're getting old or why are you rejecting them like you're so pretty etc. So finally, I became so sick of these back-and-forth comments that when she tried to get me to marry this guy (from abroad) I gave in. Never met him but spoke virtually and said yes because my mum felt very positive about them and she seemed the happiest she has ever been. Now 7 months after the nikkah, I really don't like him even now. I've tried my best to, and also met him but I don't feel that attraction. He's been very nice and what not. But I just do not like him! And now I regret giving up on myself so easily.

I'm at the point where I've got my nikkah done but do not find him attractive so I feel like I should ask for a divorce before getting more committed?

Please, I need some advice.


If you don’t want to marry, you don’t have to until you find the right person for you.

It should be your decision, as you are going to live your life with your future spouse and not your family. 

What if you are already married but do not feel love for your spouse?

Make a conscious decision that you will try to do your best to give a chance to this marriage and see whether Allah places love in your hearts for each other. 

It can happen that despite your attempts and good intentions, you will not feel that you are meant to be together. 

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If you have no feelings for your spouse, it is better – and more fair – to let both of you go your separate ways before circumstances – children, family – complicate the separation.

Click on the video and listen to the full advice. 

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.