Answer
Answer:
Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,
Thank you for asking your question. The belief that your brother’s beliefs and actions reflect the quality of your whole family is a cultural (mis)belief. Islam does not teach this.
The strongest proof that this idea is false is found in the story of the Prophet Yusuf (as); he had a dozen brothers who were so evil that they tried to murder him out of jealousy, yet Yusuf was the most desirable bachelor of his time!
Furthermore, in the time of the Prophet (saw), most of the people who converted to Islam did not have siblings, parents, or even spouses who converted with them.
Even identical twins are different!
So, clearly, a Muslim is not supposed to base his/her assessment of anyone else’s human values on that person’s relatives, their beliefs or behaviors.
The practice of shaming the whole family when one member of the family is wayward comes from jahiliyyah (beliefs based on non-divine sources).
Recognizing that you cannot change your country’s culture, the best way to contradict a cultural wrong is to prove it wrong for those you often interact with by using quotes from authentic Islamic knowledge.
They need to hear it from what the Prophet (saw) said exactly instead of just you saying, “I heard (such and such) is wrong”.
You can ask the scholars on this website to give you more proofs. Keep them handy, in your purse or somewhere, so you can show them to people when they say false things like this.
The other thing within your power is your choice of who you want to marry.
If someone is so ignorant of Islam that they project bad behavior onto you and your family because of your brother’s beliefs, then you probably should not marry that person anyway.
It might help to look at this problem from the positive point of view: this is a test from Allah (swt) and all tests are blessings in disguise.
Remaining patient at times of hardship is the way we please Allah (swt), and pleasing Allah (swt) is the way we get to Jennah, by the mercy of Allah (swt).
In addition, this struggle gives you the opportunity to fight in the cause of Allah (swt) – to stand up for Islam in the face of social wrong and make da’wah, calling Muslims to the right path, in sha’ Allah.
In regards to your brother’s atheism, don’t fret—yet. As the saying goes, “as long as there is life, there is hope”.
Be comforted by the fact that we all go through changes as we go through the stages in our individual lives.
Many atheists have become Muslims. Your brother might just need to find his own way—hopefully, back to Islam.
Even our Prophet (saw) and his companions went through different stages in their lives and development of Islam. At first, they were not Muslims.
Our Rasul (saw) was not a prophet; he has become a prophet at the age of 40. Prayer in the form of salah was not revealed until the 10th year of the Revelation.
The order of prohibiting alcohol came a few years after the Hijrah. So, you see, the path to Allah (swt) is a gradual path, so be patient with him.
I don’t know the reasons for your brother’s atheism, so I don’t know if it is just a stage that he is in in terms of his process of discovery on a path to belief in Allah (swt).
But being non-judgmental with him will keep the doors of discussion and enlightenment open with him.
If he is sincerely searching for the truth, if his search is through atheism, then Allah (swt) will, In Sha’ Allah, guide him to Himself (swt).
Shaitan can never defeat Allah’s servants no matter where they are on their path to Allah (swt).
Lastly, black magic is very real, so it is possible that it is an explanation for any spiritual problem.
However, whether it is involved or not, the bottom line is: Shaitan went to war with Allah (swt) by refusing to obey Him before he went to war with us.
Since Allah (swt) will never let Shaitan defeat Him, on The Day of Judgment, in Sha’ Allah, all of Shaitan’s handiwork will be for naught.
This means that when Shaitan defeats us (to prove to himself that he is better than us), the only time he would succeed is when we don’t repent and don’t recognize that we made a mistake because we are too arrogant to admit our fault.
In other words, if we become Shaitans too, then we hang our own selves. Allah (swt), by definition, is Merciful and Forgiving.
If we repent and ask for forgiveness, we can be forgiven for the things Shaitan deceived us into.
However, if instead we take up Shaitan’s work and fight for his causes and join his ranks becoming his friend, then we are in serious trouble with Allah (swt). When we disobey Allah (swt) out of pride, just like Shaitan has done, that is the real sin.
Again, I don’t know your brother’s reason(s) for his atheism, but give him time to sort out his feelings.
I have a relative who became an atheist, but as soon as she started down that path and felt its darkness and evil, she turned back to God because “it wasn’t her”.
Give him time to figure out how far down that path he can go before it does not feel right to him.
Never give up on him. Don’t ever give up on anyone. Abu-Safwan fought the Prophet (saw) to the end but became Muslim later.
It took 23 years for him! So, never give up on anyone.
Just keep praying for him and giving him information relevant to where he is in his struggle at the moment.
Don’t just say, “This is wrong”; explain things and remember that our beliefs are a phenomenon that is in the power of Allah (swt) alone, just like our breath!
May Allah (swt) make it easy for you!
More from Nasira S. Abdul-Aleem:
My Parents Don’t Understand Me, What Should I Do?
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