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Broken Trust: Can It Hinder My Future Marriage?

08 August, 2023
Q I am a 24 years old woman. I had a relationship in past, we were supposed to get married. I trusted that person, but he cheated on me. He didn't leave me, but he was sexually attracted to other girls, he used to reach out to women virtually. That sudden break of trust left me paranoid. My father did the same thing with my mother. Moreover, whenever we go to social media, we see a lot of man doing the same thing despite having wife, even child. Currently, I am with a good man, I assume. We will be married after 5 months, InShaAllah.

He prays, but he is not THE Perfect one, he had his flaws in past, BUT HE IS TRYING TO GET BETTER. HE gave me his access of socials. The thing is I am such a woman I can't even accept my partner replying a female, even as a friend. I don't do this either. I know he won't leave me, but I don't want him even to give a bit of attention some other female. Now maybe due to my PTSD, I have this constant fear that something wrong is happening behind my back, I have this intense urge to check his phone & socials when we are apart. And whenever I think of checking I face severe anxiety in a fear that if I check probably, I will see something wrong. Yes, I have talked about this fear with my partner. No what's the solution? Should I check his phone on a regular basis?


When trust is broken in a relationship, it can be very hard to gain it back. Especially if it happened between your parents too.

If these issues are not resolved, they can pass on to your next marriage and hinder your relationship, even with a trustworthy, honest spouse.

What can you do?

Get regular counseling and treat your fears about men. You may have developed some beliefs that can cause obstacles to a happy marriage. You can revise them with a counselor and replace them with more adaptive ones.

There are also some techniques available that help regain trust in a relationship.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.