Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Your parents are looking to marry you to someone who will provide well for you, so you will live comfortably without worrying about finances or the like.
• Reevaluate your position on him and objectively determine whether he is right for you.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Sister,
Thank you for sending us your question. May Allah (swt) help you to make the right decision and give you peace of mind.
Since you have given a very brief description of your situation, I will answer to the best of my ability, hoping that I do not make false assumptions about the circumstances that you are in.
You state you love a young man named Faisal. When you told your parents that you wanted to marry him, they refused and will not even consider him. You mention that they’d prefer someone who is more educated (and I am also assuming they want someone who is of higher socio-economic status).
Most parents prefer someone who is more educated because they most likely have better jobs. Thus, they get paid higher salaries and live more comfortably than those who are not as educated. In other words, your parents are looking to marry you to someone who will provide well for you, so you will live comfortably without worrying about finances or the like.
Is Money Important?
Having sustainable income is important; there is no doubt about that. However, money is not the only important factor when it comes to choosing a spouse.
There are also other factors that must be looked into to make sure that the potential spouse is compatible with you. Factors such as his overall worldview, religious and cultural practices, or lack of them, expectations regarding marriage. You need to know what he thinks how life should be lived, ideas relating to parenting, how they spend their spare time, personality traits, etc. Money alone cannot determine happiness in a marriage. Feeling that you “like” someone is also not enough to sustain a marriage. You and your parents must keep in mind the above factors to determine compatibility and determine whether a suitor is a good match or not.
Why Do You Want to Marry Him?
I am not sure if Faisal is a good match for you. You have not mentioned much about him other than you both like each other. Again, as mentioned above, simply “liking” someone is not enough to sustain a happy marriage. If you believe that Faisal is compatible with you, then I would advise you to talk to your parents again about him.
I would suggest you reevaluate your position on him and objectively determine whether he is right for you.
Check out this counseling video:
Do you both share similar views on how to live life and how to solve problems? How to handle difficulties? How to raise a family? How to make ends meet? Do you both have the right kind of patience, maturity, and responsibility to be married and face all the hurdles in life as a strong married couple? Or have the both of you not discussed important life issues, but rather spent your time together getting caught up with how much you “love” each other?
It is unfortunate, but many young single people overlook the important issues they have to discuss with potential spouses and get caught up with their emotions and feelings of “love” or as I call it, infatuation.
Please, reevaluate your relationship with Faisal and objectively determine whether or not a marriage with him is what you expect in a marriage.
I ask Allah (swt) to guide you to the right decision.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/want-to-get-married/parents-want-him-to-finish-university-before-marriage/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/want-to-get-married/shall-hide-marriage-parents/