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Wish to Meet Him Again, but in a Halal Way

17 December, 2023
Q It's a long story. And i know it looks childish to ask for advice on my situation. But I need help, I can't bear the pain I'm in.

I met a boy some time ago. We are both Muslim. But we live 3 hours away from each other in the same country. We were together for 6 months. I never loved anyone as I loved him. 3 weeks ago we were together for 5 days. I went over to him. We had to talk because I told him that I was feeling that he was being distant. We started to talk and I cried. He told me that he is feeling guilty for doing haram and being in a relationship and sinning.

When I first met him he wasn't that religious. He didn't pray and so on, but I helped him, and he has been praying since then, and has become much more religious. He does not want us to be in a relationship since it's haram. And he can't marry me now because he is young, with no financial stability or education.

He told me that he even asked his parents what to do. He even got their advice on marriage. They think he is too young. And he thinks he is too young too, and has no finance. He told me it's best to break up. He doesn't want me or him to commit sins. We both cried.

We love each other. We spent the last days together, we would make duaa. If Allah wants us to meet again we would, he told me. I can't bear this pain. I see no future without him. I never meet someone like him or forget him, I want him.

He is scared to hurt me if we keep in contact, because he doesn't know What the future brings, and he is scared if we keep in contact that we don't have a future.

I love him. But i know he is now ready for marriage in the next few years. But I can't live a future without him without so much pain. And I think there is no chance that we will cross paths again in the future if I give him up.

Yesterday we talked again. And agreed to break up for good this time because it is haram. But it hurts so much. It hurts because there is no chance that i meet him in the future. I can't bear the pain. I don't know what to do. I will make duaa every day to meet him again one day. But I really don't think he will be my future. I see no chance. I don't know what to do.

What is your advice? And how can I end up with him? And did we do the right thing, and do you think there is any chance that I will see him one day in a halal way?


You brought someone closer to Allah. That is a blessing in itself. 

It is not a matter of giving up, but rather of trusting in Allah and accepting His will. If you are meant to cross paths in the future, you certainly will. 

How to overcome a struggle like this? Click here to check out the counselor’s advice.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.