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What If My Father Found out I Was Talking to this Guy?

01 April, 2024
Q I am an 18 year old girl in a very complicated situation which I would like help in.

I loved a man secretly for a long time and last year he texted me. We talked through text for a few months and he wished to marry me and I after knowing him I wanted to marry him too. We both are muslims alhamdulillah.

I told my parents about my feelings for him and my desire to marry him and they said they will consider it after my studies. However, my father doesn't know we have talked or texted before which if he were to find out I am afraid of the consequences.

It might hurt him emotionally to the extent it could damage his health. My mother knows and she is furious , also is very harsh with her words towards me. I do not know regarding me talking to the guy I love, what is right and what is wrong.

Is it permissible for me to talk to him ? What are the limitations and what should I do ? I have grown very attached to him and can't stop talking . I am scared what will happen if my father knows and whether I should tell him.

I don't mind doing the nikah early but I am unable to tell my parents nor do I think they will agree as they feel I am too young and wish for me to complete my studies first. Please tell me if it's alright to talk through text and if what i'm doing is halal or not. I also want to know what to do about my parents.


In this counseling video:

Chatting by text with a guy by yourself brings the same feelings as if you were to meet with him face to face.

Before marriage it is the best option to refrain texting and chatting online, for your own protection.

Your mother’s behavior is natural.

Try to win your parent’s support for this relationship.

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Either put this aside for the time being and focus on finishing your studies, or speak to your parents openly about wanting to get married to him.

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