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My Ex Is Now a Muslim; She Wants Me to Marry Her

16 February, 2024
Q I am a born Muslim. I was in a Haram relationship in 2016 with a non-Muslim girl. After realization, I made taubah, told her the reason and never contacted that girl again. In 2022, she contacted me saying that after I left, she started studying Islam and became Muslim in 2020 and is practicing now. She said that she cannot marry anyone who is not Muslim and wants to marry me so that she can lead a Muslim life as her parents don't know that she is a revert Muslim. My question is that if I don't marry her because of any reason like issues in this country etc, will I be sinful or answerable to Allah for this? That I did not help her in her cause. And what will be your advice for me?


One thing is what happened in the past, and another is whether you are ready to marry now.

What you need to seek in marriage is compatibility, piety, shared goals, and values. Does she match your expectations now? If you think that she is the right one for you, marry her.

But you do not have to if you feel otherwise, even if in the past you were in a relationship.

If both of you sincerely repented, sought Allah’s forgiveness, and moved on, there is no need to bring the past back.

Link her with a local Muslim community where she can grow in her deen and find Muslims around.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services. 

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.