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I’m in Love with a Sikh Man

21 November, 2016
Q As-Salamu Alaykum sister. I'm really stressed about a problem. I am a 20 years old girl and I am in love with a Sikh man, however he doesn't believe in any religion, not even Sikhism which he was born into. He is willing to revert to Islam for me. After he reverts to Islam, is it permissible for me to marry him as he would be Muslim officially? If so, how do I revert him to Islam? What if my parents don't believe that he has reverted for me? We both truly love each other, but I know even if it is allowed in Islam to marry him, my parents will still disagree with it. My cousins, sisters and everyone tell me to leave him, but I can't. Everyone says to me that a Muslim girl can't marry a revert. Is it true?

Answer

Answer:

Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam sister,

It can be very distressing when you desire to marry someone but there seem to barriers that might make it difficult.

In this case, the first thing to remember is that we are all born in a state of fitrah. We are all born as Muslims, but it is only under the influence of our family or those around us that take us away from this innate predisposition to Islam and become a Christian or a Sikh..etc. Therefore, that the man that you wish to marry, who has said he would like to convert to Islam, is therefore just seeking to go back to his original state. This is commonly why the word “revert” is used, as opposed to “convert” as someone who chooses to become a Muslim is, in fact, just reverting back to the Deen in which they were actually born.

Based on this, of course, if he has accepted Islam, then it is permissible for you to marry. If he was not a Muslim, then this would not be permissible as a Muslim woman is not permitted to marry a non-Muslim man. This is because the child will generally be raised under the religion of their father and, therefore, would result in a child being raised in the wrong way.

However, it is also important to note that if he is reverting for you, then he is not doing so for the sake of Allah (swt). In order to confirm his commitment to Islam and reenter the fold of Islam again, the most basic level he needs to accept is that Allah (swt) is the one and only God and Muhammad (saw) is the last and final messenger by saying the Shahada. If this is what he truly believes and is not saying it by force, then alhamdulilah, he is a Muslim and you are free to marry him. If he is not yet a true believer, or perhaps he is only doing it for your sake and not Allah’s (swt), then you can get some materials to him to educate him about Islam that he will understand Islam and, in sha’ Allah, accept it for the right reasons. This may also convince your friends and family that he is a true and righteous believer worthy of marriage to and will be good for you and they will be more supportive of a marriage to him.

For now, whilst you are not married, ensure that you keep all relations between the two of you strictly halal, in the presence of a third party, to avoid interference from the Shaytan. During this time, keep the potential marriage to him in your prayers, asking Allah (swt) to guide you both onto the straight path. If it does not work out, then be comforted in the knowledge that Allah (swt) has better plans for the two of you.

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May Allah (swt) grant you ease in your affairs and bring you a righteous spouse that will be the coolness of your eyes.

Salam,

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)