However, my parents want me to go a step further and wear a hijab now, but I don’t want to because my parents aren’t with me always at school and I am scared from hate and I am scared being blamed for everything. I just want to focus and be involved in everything like anyone else such as sport. I want to do everything without barriers because I live in a very hot and humid country.
I also don’t want people to look at me because that’s not the point of wearing a hijab. You’re not supposed to attract people by looking at you because I’ll be the only one wearing the hijab at school.
In this counseling answer:
• If you feel that you could face danger from bullies, you should protect yourself as much as you can. Your first line of support should be Allah; turn to Him often in supplications.
• Next, you should try to avoid being alone with a bully as far as possible. Make sure that you are often in the company of others and seek support and advice from those you can trust.
• Train your mind to think that wearing the hijab is not for you, it is for Allah – The One who made everything possible for you.
• Remember, nothing worth having is easy.
As-Salamu Alaikum dear sister,
Thank you so much for placing your trust in us! You are such a young and sweet girl! I am very pleased to see that such a young girl like yourself is considering an act that many elderly women do not think twice about! You are a sincere person.
Dealing with Bullying
Dear sister, I am sorry to hear about the struggles you have been having. It is often hard to overcome feeling sad and not deciding to do what you would have rather done in a different situation when you feel and face hard circumstances.
I suggest you read this article in order to learn about how you can behave and acknowledge those who are ignorant. In addition, although I am sure that those who are causing you harm at school are not the regular bullies, I suggest you consult this article.
Intention vs. Action
Dear sister, in Islam, the intention is very important. The intention is simply one of the pillars of worshipping. If you are worshipping without a (pure) intention, then there is no meaning to the worship—because it is not coming from your heart.
Imam as-Sadiq said,
“Anyone who performs a small act for the sake of God, God will make it bigger than he wishes in the sight of others. And anyone who performs a great act for the sake of people, God will make it trivial in the sight of others.” (Rawdhah al-Muttaqin, vol. 12, p. 142.) (Al-islam.org)
“A good deed will be recorded in favor of anyone who decides to do something good but fails to do so.” (Al-islam.org)
Hijab, alongside being a symbol of modesty and obedience for Allah, is a sign of your love to Allah. By wearing a hijab, you are making a statement that you are obeying Allah and agreeing to wear a symbol of modesty because you love Allah.
We tend to only obey those who we love, those who we know to be speaking in our favor, and those who tend to guide us and help us and are on the lookout for us. We do not simply obey anyone. We only obey those we love – and those who love us back.
This is the special relationship that Allah has with all His creation, and even more so with His slaves, us. It is what we are doing to please Allah.
Good Results Stem from Positive Thoughts
If you want to see the positivity brought about by wearing the hijab, you need to believe in your action. Before anything external can positively impact you, you need to change yourself from within.
Douglas Adams, a famous English writer, once said,
“Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you.”
So, if you “think” that it will be easy for you if you take off your hijab, and hard when you leave it on, it will be like that. Therefore, train your mind to think that wearing the hijab is not for you, it is for Allah – The One who made everything possible for you.
Dear sister, nothing worth having is easy. People will stare you down and insult you every time you try to do something good. For example, if you study really hard, people who do not study hard will insult you. Does that mean you should stop studying? If you exercise, people who do not exercise will insult you. Does that mean you stop exercising? Definitely not!
Hijab: A Specific Command from Allah
Allah tells us in the Quran,
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)
” And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and their ornaments except what appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…” (Qur’an 24:31)
“I have only created jinn and man that they obey Me.” (Qur’an 56:51)
Therefore, the hijab has been commanded from Allah for women. When we are created to obey Allah, must we not do what we are told to do?
Hidden Benefits of Obedience to Allah
Although we are obeying the commands of Allah as an act of obedience towards Him so that we can please Him, there are in fact hidden benefits for us.
Check out this counseling video:
In the society in which we live today, women are seen more as objects rather than individuals. A woman is usually praised and complimented based on her beauty. I am sure you have heard this before, but there are lots of feminists who are promoting the fact that women should not simply be praised on their beauty, but also on their intelligence, wit, strength, etc. Therefore, when a Muslim woman wears a hijab, she is stating that her recognition is not beauty, but rather her brain, her strength, her careers, etc. Hijab makes a statement that we are to be judged for our Worth, not our appearance.
Therefore, if you take your time to understand the hijab, you will soon realize that it is not a simple piece of clothing and it is not easy to take it off.
In addition, when you do an action for the sake of Allah, you will face certain issues. But Allah will certainly ease those issues for you and make you stronger.
The world is a prison for the believers and a paradise for the non-believers.
The Prophet said,
“The world is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever.” (Jami Tirmidhi)
Dear sister, we are placed in this world and this is a test for us. At the end of the day, those who were rightly guided, controlled their temptations and were submissive to Allah will see the light.
Allah says in the Quran,
“Indeed, those who have faith and do righteous deeds—the All-beneficent will point for them affection.” (Quran 19:96)
If someone works sincerely for the sake of Allah, He will pay their sincerity in a manner which is beyond expectations.
In conclusion, it is your decision. Any act of worship should come from within. Sometimes, when individuals are forced, they comply with the action but fail to realize its importance and eventually do not see the value in observing the action.
I hope I provided the answer you were looking.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.