After all these pressures and childhood abuse, they took me to a psychologist where I was diagnosed with anxiety a few months ago.
They don't *vocally* say me to crack the exam, but emotionally ask me to crack the exam and say that medical offers more money. I cry every day for my dream of becoming an Islamic scholar (Insha'Allah), I ask for help from Allah SWT every day.
Right now my parents sent me to a place away from my home to study for my upcoming pre-medical exam, but I am not attending any classes.
First, I tried to attend the classes, but whenever I would go there, I'd always cry in the class sometimes and always after coming to my hostel and during the night too and during namaz and tahajjud too.
Of course, my parents love me very much, but they can't force me to study something I never want to. They are coming to visit me in December because I am trying to convince them, but they discourage me and think about their societal honor too.
Despite I've been a brilliant student alhamdulillah (Mashallah tabarakallah), they say that in the future I should not regret my decision.
Sister, honestly speaking, my heart yearns for studying comparative religion and Islamic studies, but my eyes have dried and my heart is in deep pain. What do I do?
Kindly help me out. Kindly do. May Allah SWT reward you. Jazāk Allāhu Khayran Katheera. Looking forward to hearing from you sooner than later!
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Please, do prayer to Allah that He softens your parent’s hearts or provides you with an opportunity to fulfill this most blessed mission.
Insha’Allah sister, it will work out, don’t give up, talk to your parents, explore your options, and know that Allah is blessing the path you are on.
Maybe study medicine and Islamic studies at the same time, but on an online platform.
***
As salamu alaykum,
Sister, may Allah bless you for your desire to study comparative religion and Islamic Studies.
That is a very high devotion to Allah to want to be an Islamic scholar. May Allah make a way for you to attain this.
The Problem….
This choice of a career is really a spiritual calling. It is a beautiful path and one that is beneficial to so many people.
The problem, however, is that your parents want you to study medicine.
They are having you study for an upcoming pre-medical exam to get into college.
This is in direct conflict with what you want and as a result, it is causing you much anxiety and depression.
Parents Choosing Options for Careers
Unfortunately, a lot of times parents do not listen to their children’s wishes as far as a career or even marriage. Sometimes this ends well and sometimes it does not.
As an individual, a human, and as a Muslimah, you have the right to study what you would like.
Obstacles
When trying to decide what to do-the problem comes in when you ask the following questions:
Who is paying for your university, who is paying for your hostel or apartment, and who is supporting you with other financials related to education?
I may be wrong, but it is probably your parents who are paying for all of this.
While this should not give them control over what you study, it does make it more difficult and it does give them the advantage.
If you were paying for your education and all related expenses, you would be able to study whatever you wanted, but based on what you wrote this may not the case.
Speaking with Parents with an Advocate
In this situation, you may wish to speak with your parents with an advocate present who may be able to help you discuss with your parents the importance and honor of why you are choosing this as a career as well as your right to choose your own course of study.
This advocate may be an Islamic scholar such as an Imam, a counselor at your school who knows your situation, or a family member who will advocate for your choice.
Other Options
Another option may be to do medical studies and do a minor in comparative religion and Islamic studies.
I do not know how feasible this choice is, or if it is even a choice because medical schools usually do not offer minors.
With that said, if your parents are adamant about you going to medical school, you can either refuse and seek a way to pay for your Islamic Studies, or you may wish to comply and study Islam elsewhere.
Perhaps, there is an online program and that you can enroll in that is free or low-cost.
With your passion to become an Islamic scholar, there may be grants and scholarships available to you. I would highly recommend looking into that.
Conclusion
Sister, I really feel for you, and I am sorry that your parents are not understanding.
This situation is not uncommon, but in sha Allah it can be resolved.
You are the one who will be living your life with your career, not your parents.
That is a very important point to think about. In this life, it is wonderful when we can do something we love as a career and even more of a blessing when it involves Islamic studies as a calling in one’s life.
Please, do prayer to Allah that He softens your parents’ hearts or provides you with an opportunity to fulfill this most blessed mission.
Insha’Allah sister, it will work out, don’t give up, talk to your parents, explore your options, and know that Allah is blessing the path you are on.
We wish you the best.
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.