A year later I began to get bullied because of me wearing the hijab but fortunately, it stopped a year later. I stopped thinking about taking it off until I turned 12 but have been really scared to ask my parents, now I am 14 and really want to take it off since one of my only hijabi friends where I live took it off. But I am also really scared of the idea.
I don't want to make other people or my parents disappointed in me. If I do take it off I am going to wear it again in the future, maybe when I am 18 or 20 and I am of course still going to dress modestly and pray. So please help me what should I do?
In this counseling answer:
“A Muslim woman wears a hijab, she is stating that her recognition is not beauty, but rather her brain, her strength, her careers, etc. Hijab makes a statement. That we are to be judged for our worth and not our appearance. Therefore, make hijab your identity, not simply an action done without any consideration.”
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,
Thank you so much for placing your trust in us! I am glad that you have decided to ask whether you should take the hijab off or not. This tells me that you yourself can’t simply take it off. From the most bottom part of your heart, you feel hesitant—as if you are not sure if you want to let it go.
However, on the surface, you feel that you must take it off because by doing so, your life will become much easier and simpler.
Intention vs. Action
Dear sister, in Islam, the intention is more important than action. The intention is simply one of the pillars of worshipping. If you are worshipping Allah (swt) without an intention, then there is no meaning to the worship because it is not coming from your heart.
I heard Allah’s Messenger (saw) saying,
“The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for.” (Bukhari)
Therefore, dear sister, you feel such need to remove the hijab. Because you were never really taught by your parents the deep meaning behind the practice of hijab.
If you were told that the hijab is a symbol of modesty. Then you can argue back saying that loose clothing is equivalent.
If you are told that hijab is a symbol of obedience to Allah (swt). Then you can argue back saying that obedience can be shown in different ways.
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However, hijab, alongside being a symbol of modesty and obedience to Allah (swt), is a sign of your love to Allah (swt). By wearing a hijab. You are making a statement that you are obeying Allah (swt) and agreeing to wear a symbol of modesty because you love Allah (swt).
We tend to only obey those who we love; those who we know to be speaking in our favor, and those who tend to guide us and help us and are on the lookout for us. We do not simply obey anyone. We only obey those we love – and those who love us back.
This is the special relationship that Allah (swt) has with all His creation, and even more so with His slaves, us. It is what we are doing to please Allah (swt).
Good Results Stem from Positive Thoughts
If you want to see the positivity brought about by wearing the hijab, you need to believe in your action. Before anything external can positively impact you, you need to change yourself from within.
Douglas Adams, a famous English writer, once said, “Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you.”
Therefore, if you “think” that it will be easy for you to follow the path of your friend who took off the hijab, your mind will make you regret every day you wear it. However, if you try to realize the importance of your action and the meaning behind it, your mind will make you feel hesitant when it comes to removing it.
Hijab: A Specific Command from Allah (swt)
Allah (swt) tells us in the Quran,
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (33:59)
” And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and their ornaments except what appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…” [24:31].
“I have only created jinn and man that they obey Me.” [51:56].
Therefore, the hijab has been commanded from Allah (swt) for women. When are created to obey Allah (swt), must we not do what we are told to do?
Hidden Benefits of Obedience to Allah (swt)
Although we are obeying the commands of Allah (swt) as an act of obedience towards Him so that we can please Him, there are in fact hidden benefits for us.
In the society in which we live today, women are seen more as objects rather than individuals. A woman is usually praised and complimented based on her beauty. I am sure you have heard this before. But there are lots of feminists who are promoting the fact that women should not simply be praised for their beauty. Also for their intelligence, wit, strength, etc.
Therefore, when a Muslim woman wears a hijab, she is stating that her recognition is not beauty. Rather her brain, her strength, her careers, etc. Hijab makes a statement that we are to be judged for our worth and not our appearance.
A female who conceals her beauty is basically saying to the world, “You know what? Everything about me besides my beauty should matter to you.” Therefore, make hijab your identity, not simply an action is done without any consideration.
Therefore, if you take your time to understand the hijab. By asking someone of knowledge about it’s benefits. You will soon realize that it is not easy to take off a simple piece of clothing.
In addition, when you do an action for the sake of Allah (swt), you will face certain issues. But Allah will certainly ease those issues for you and make you stronger.
The world is a prison for the believers and a paradise for the non-believers
The Prophet (saw) said,
“The world is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever.” (Jami Tirmidhi)
Dear sister, we are placed in this world and this is a test for us. At the end of the day, those who were rightly guided, controlled their temptations and were submissive to Allah (swt) will see the light.
Allah (swt) says in the Quran,
“Indeed, those who have faith and do righteous deeds—the All-beneficent will point for them affection.” (19:96)
If someone works sincerely for the sake of Allah (swt), He will pay their sincerity in a manner which is beyond expectations.
In conclusion, it is your decision. Any act of worship should come from within. Sometimes, when individuals are forced, they comply to the action but fail to realize its importance and eventually do not see the value in observing the action.
I hope I provided the answer you were looking.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.