I also have a stammering problem which I try not to show to anybody, but I'm unable to hide it when I’m asked in the interview. I have never discussed stammering with my parents, but I think they understand it. I have been patient so far.
But today I hit rock bottom when my mom told me how embarrassed they felt that I couldn’t find a job. It's not like I'm not trying. I'm trying very hard. I would just like to know if there is any dua I can do for asking for a job?
Before and after interviews, I read 3rd kalimah so that Allah helps. I try to do zikr whenever I can remember. I try to pray all the prayers. I'm not losing patience, but I can’t see my parents being upset with me. Every time I look at them, I feel ashamed that I'm unable to succeed.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Rejection is always the first staircase to success. When you get rejected, you can improve yourself for a better interview in the future, perhaps for a better position given the skills that you acquired.
• When you meet new people and grow your network, you may be able to get opportunities and learn about new skills which you otherwise would never have come across.
• Volunteering can significantly help you understand many inner workings of the fields you are pursuing as your career.
• You need to guard your mind against internalizing such comments and only focus on the present, something you can control, by learning from the past.
• Editor’s note: There is no specific du’aa’ for finding a job. However, as long as you strive to live a life that is pleasing to Allah, and you make du’aa’ sincerely, in sha’ Allah, Allah is on your side. Pray istikharah before your future interviews and wake up for tahajjud prayer.
• Seek help from a speech therapist for your stammering problem.
As-Salamu Alaikum dear brother,
Thank you for placing your trust in our ability to propose a solution to your current situation.
I am sorry to hear that you have troubles finding a good job. However, you are only 23, fresh off graduate school. You managed to place a few interviews, and although you did not get the job, you should feel proud of yourself that you were invited for an interview. I can ascertain that you will find a good job soon, but remember, you need a growth mindset.
Growth Mindset
“Students with a growth mindset understand they can get smarter through hard work, the use of effective strategies, and help from others when needed.” (MindsetScholarsNetwork)
Success is not achieved with one try
Here are some of the sayings that wise and now successful people have said regarding their success.
“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.” Colin Powell
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Henry Ford
Evaluate your past interviews
You mentioned that some employers rejected you. Do not simply consider yourself rejected. Have a growth mindset.
Yes, you were rejected. But what did you learn? What kind of questions did they ask? What skills were evaluated? How did you present yourself conversationally? Did you converse naturally or struggled and sounded unreal and monotonous? How were your people skills? Did you do a mock interview before?
Check out this counseling video:
Dear brother, rejection is always the first staircase to success. When you get rejected, you can improve yourself for a better interview in the future, perhaps for a better position given the skills that you acquired.
Expand your network: Increase confidence and develop new relations
Dear brother, getting to know people is very important. Social relations not only help us out directly but sometimes having connections helps us improve our levels of confidence and conversational skills. Many people struggle at the interview stage because they lack confidence.
In addition, when you meet new people and grow your network, you may be able to get opportunities and learn about new skills which you otherwise would never have come across.
Gain new skills
Depending on your field of qualification, you can always broaden your horizons by obtaining new certificates working on projects individually, and simply learning a new skill. These skills and certificates can be added on to your resume and will make you stand out from other applicants.
Career Development Workshops
Here in Canada, every single university offers free career development workshops and one-one meetings with students. For instance, if a student got an interview as a potential research assistant for a heart failure lab, the career development professional will meet with the student, go over their resume, and go over the job description and even do a mock interview. I am not sure if such resources are available in England. If they are, please make use of them. These are tremendously helpful! Even if there is a bit of a fee, do not make the mistake of not making use of these excellent services these people offer.
Musa’s (AS) du’aa’
This du’aa’ was made by Prophet Musa when Allah ordered him to embark on a difficult task. He did not tell Allah about his issues or past difficulties because Musa knew that Allah has no limits.
“My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance], ease for me my task, and untie the knot from my tongue that they may understand my speech.” (Quran, 20:25-28)
“My Lord, indeed, I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need.” (Quran 28:24)
Volunteer
Dear brother, although after obtaining a masters, you may find it demeaning to volunteer your time. It has many potential benefits. Volunteering can significantly help you understand many inner workings of the fields you are pursuing as your career. It is how you use each opportunity given to you and how you put it in perspective. Please, search for places where you can volunteer your time and meet potential employers through professional connections.
These are some of the many, many skills you can learn through volunteering.
- Industry-related skills.
- The ability to work in a team.
- Problem solving and adaptability.
- Communicating with new people.
- The ability to plan and priorities work.
- Time management.
There is never a rock bottom: Ignore comments/thoughts that reduce productivity
Hardships and struggles are a part of life. Your mother may mean well, but her way of expressing her feelings is not doing the “good” she thinks she is doing.
Sometimes, dear brother, parents think that if they stress and pressurize their children, their children will work hard. However, this behavior from parents, in today’s times, given the lack of extended support system that our parents were once a part of, is rendering their children, often young adults, into self-doubt and feelings of worthless and lack of enthusiasm.
You need to guard your mind against internalizing such comments and only focus on the present, something you can control, by learning from the past. Just realize that your parents are not trying to stress you, they are simply ensuring that you do not ever lose your focus and fall prey to unnecessary distractions.
Read!
I cannot stress the importance of reading. By reading, we discover new things and how we develop a positive self-image. You need it in order to function today. Reading helps to expand the mind and develops the imagination for improved critical problem-solving. It helps to improve (vocabulary and spelling) communication both written and spoken. Bill Gates reads 50 books a year despite being a very busy man!
Please go through this website and start by picking at least one book, fiction or non-fiction.
I hope you find this answer useful.
Salam,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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I Want to Improve My Communication Skills Before the Interview