The worst is that I’m finally studying the course I always dreamt of and this is the most important year. But I can’t bring myself to focus.
Even in class, when I go out it’s like I never went in. Every time I push myself to listen, read some Quran, and ask Allah for guidance and forgiveness, I’m being held by every sin I made.
I’m psychologically really weak and do need advice.Thank you for your time and may Allah bless you.
Answer
In this counseling session:
- Connect with your classmates and motivate each other in your work.
- Connect with other sisters and pray together, or study together and engage with one another for the sake of Allah.
- Others that are rising in the same boat as you can provide the extra motivation that we all need at times, whether by directly telling you to get on task, or indirectly by simply being there as a guide and for support.
Assalamalikum,
It very much reads like you are exhibiting some classic symptoms of depression so the first thing I would suggest is getting some medical advice regarding so would advise seeing your doctor so that they may do some testing to check for this and then refer you for further counselling to give you the ongoing support you will need in overcoming this.
Difficulty
Alhamdulilah, you have done the right thing in reaching out for advice on the matter. This is a good sign that you will be successful in overcoming these difficulties because you are willing and able to open up and discuss how you’re feeling.
Alhamdulilah also that even though you are feeling worthless, you are still turning to Allah. Again, this is another good sign that you will be a able to make a quick recovery from this difficulty.
In the meantime, I would encourage you to try and pinpoint if something in particular has happened lately that might have triggered these feelings. Has there been some change in your relationships with others? Have your circumstances changed in any way? These are common reasons to feel the way you are.
Alternatively, it could be a product of the current covid situation and not related to anything personal as such. Mental health difficulties have increased dramatically in these last months.
Reasons
You may not have directly been impacted by the disease. But almost certainly you will have had to deal with changes in things such as family and peer contact. The way you engage with your course, down to the way you go outside and do the shopping. You may not feel like these factors have bothered you, but they are big changes. And changes tend to make many people anxious in some way.
Especially when the changes are a result of something so negative. That’s not to say that this is the cause of your current situation. But is a potential to consider among other things that might have changed for you recently.
Check out this counseling video:
Responsibility
Alternatively, if you haven’t noticed any changes at all, it may simply be a product of your age and the psychological challenges faced by everyone to some extent at this age. You have recently transitioned into adulthood and suddenly have all these new responsibilities on your shoulders that you never had before as they were always taken care of by your parents.
You are now starting a new phase in your life which can be very daunting. What do you do? Where do you go? Faced with so many choices that could have consequences for where your life will go from here on in. That’s enough to make anyone feel anxious.
Anxiety
This anxiety can easily lead to feelings that you can’t do it, or that you are not good enough and subsequent depression. It feels like these are the kind of thoughts and feelings you are having right now.
As a result of such thoughts and feelings it’s common to behave in response to these by becoming lethargic and unmotivated and not engaging in the things you are involved in, like study. With this in mind, one way to increase your engagement with your study is to change the way you think about the situation.
Change your thinking
Consider this, you must have reached a certain standard in your academic achievement to have been awarded a place on this course which would indicate that actually you are more than capable of doing it and if you were not then you wouldn’t have been awarded the place. Keeping this in mind will help you to feel more positive about yourself and subsequently improve your motivation to get out of bed everyday and engage in your course.
Likewise, with your prayer, the fact that you are feeling like you are worthless and being held accountable for your sins is interfering with your connection to Islam somewhat. Instead, focus on the Mercy of Allah and how He does not view anyone as worthless and loves to forgive sins if only you will continue to reach out to Him and repent. This alone can release a huge weight off your shoulders.
Support system
Additionally, getting social support in these matters can provide a big boost for motivation. Connect with your classmates and motivate each other in your work. Connect with other sisters and pray together, or study together and engage with one another for the sake of Allah.
In both cases, others that are rising in the same boat as you can provide the extra motivation that we all need at times, whether by directly telling you to get on task, or indirectly by simply being there as a guide and for support.
May Allah make things easy for you and see you out of these dark times successfully as an even stronger and more motivated person both spiritually and academically.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.