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High School Student: ‘I Think I’ve Screwed Up My Life’

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jun 21, 2019

Question

I am a Romanian Muslim high school boy in 12th grade. I have started this year really badly by mistake, to the point where I am not sure if I will reach the final exam in the second semester and now, I am very desperate and full of regret that I have started like this.

I so badly wish I can change the past and turn back time, then maybe I would be able to achieve more like diplomas and scholarships and such. Then, I could have developed knowledge in science that would help me create something which I can show for myself.

There is a person who often shows off his accomplishments and it angers me a lot. So, when that happens again, I can have something to show off too because I want to be far more intelligent than that person in these areas.

I cannot do that without the reversal of time. Like that, we can all start life again and have a second chance to do the right things, so I don’t have to suffer the consequences like this. Is it possible to ask angels to pray for God to answer or grant the wish you really want? If so, how can I do it?

I simply cannot take life any longer; it is too much to handle. I just wish for divine laws to be changed and altered and new things to be added which displease me.

Counselor

Answer


High School Student: I Think I’ve Screwed Up My Life

In this counseling answer:

• Showing off is not the purpose of this life.

• You should think of learning mathematics, engineering, and science in order to innovate so that your innovations can provide relief to those suffering.

• You are only 19 and you haven’t lost any time at all. Now what you must do is list all the mistakes you have made in the past.

• There is no way that you can go back in time, but there is a way that you change yourself for a better more productive and god pleasing future.


Assalamu Alaikum dear brother,

Thank you for placing your trust in our ability to propose a solution to your current situation.

The beauty of Islam, dear brother, is that the creation has a direct connection with the creator. There is NO intermediary. Allah SWT listens to the silent prayers from the heart of His slaves.

In the Quran Allah SWT says:

“And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein” (Quran 50: 16)

If you were to do a quick Google search on the jugular vein, you will find that it is the most important vein in the human body, and it is the source that oxygen-deprived blood takes back to the heart to be oxygenated once again. Without the proper functioning of this vein, there would be many health issues.

This most important vein is located near the deepest part of your neck. But Allah (SWT) mentions that HE (SWT) is closer than this vein. What do you think this implies? There is no need for you to hesitate when it comes to connecting with Allah (SWT). Allah (SWT) is always on the lookout for you. Whatever has happened has happened for your best, and whatever will happen will be for your best.

Showing off is not the trait of the pious

Dear brother, showing off is not the purpose of this life. Yes, we will come across many people who boast and show pride and consider their accomplishments to increase their value and consider themselves to be better than others. This is rather frustrating to face and creates anger and hatred.

However, when we face some people, we must realize that those who show off, constantly demeaning others and insulting others are in fact unaware of the truth of this life. Those who show off are not close to Allah.

In the Quran, Allah (SWT) says:

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful” (Quran 4: 36)

In the above verse Allah (SWT) clearly mentions that He dislikes those who are boastful. In another part of the Quran, in Chapter (Surah) Al-Hadeed, Allah (SWT) mentions that this life is amusement, a test to see the behavior of the believing women and believing. In this chapter, Allah SWT outlines the importance of giving charity and the reward.

Allah (SWT) mentions in the Quran:

“Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries, and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion” (Quran 57: 20)

The Intention should be to please the Creator and not the Creation

Yazid ibn Khalifah reports from Imam al-Sadiq (A) that he said, “Riya (boastfulness- pretension) in any of its forms amounts to shirk, (polytheism); verily, one who works for the people, his reward lies with them, and one who works for God his reward lies with God.” Usul al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 453.

Dear brother, this verse clearly indicates that those who seek to please the creation should seek reward from the creation. But, do you think this is a possibility? The creation is ever so dependent on the Creator. Then, why must we strive to please the creation at the expense of the Creator?


Check out this counseling video:


Therefore, you should think of learning mathematics, engineering, and science in order to innovate so that your innovations can provide relief to those suffering. It can be a way for you to do something to give back to the world. Something which will earn you profit so that you can use it to help those who are less privileged.

These should be your thoughts and intentions. Boasting will merely cause you to feel full of yourself or a few minutes, but good intentions to please Allah (SWT) and help others will make you feel satisfied lifelong.

Learn from your past and improve your future

Dear brother, if we never make mistakes, how can we learn from the past? If time could go back, we would also lose our memories of what we did wrong and hence we will repeat the same mistakes. Therefore, whenever you realize the significance of a mistake and work on improving it, that is your new beginning. You are only 19 and you haven’t lost any time at all. Now what you must do is list all the mistakes you have made in the past.

For example, were you a procrastinator? Did you waste time playing video games? Are you addicted to social media? Are you someone who is regular with prayers? Did you do something that you are fully aware is forbidden in Islam? Etc.

When you have compiled all the mistakes that you have made, and if you are sincere about intending on changing to become a better person, it will be easy for you to work out a plan to change yourself and bring disciple into your life.

I am certain that if you try to follow the list of 10 things below, your life will change for the better,

  1. Go to sleep around 11 pm
  2. Wake up around 5 am
  3. Work out/go for a run every day for 20-30 minutes
  4. Plan your study time and stick to it
  5. Avoid eating oily and fried food.
  6. Be punctual with 5 daily prayers
  7. Attend the mosque on a daily or at least weekly basis.
  8. Read for self-development
  9. Every night reflect on your day
  10. Keep your study environment clean

Believe in the Divine Wisdom.

Dear brother, everything happens because Allah (SWT) willed it to happen. We need to believe in it.  The importance of Qadar (fate) is talked about here in great detail with reference to verses of the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet Muhammed (SAW).

Allah (SWT) has predestined everything, and supplicating to Him, asking Him to change it is a means by which good things can happen. There is no way that you can go back in time, but there is a way that you change yourself for a better more productive and god pleasing future.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Madiha Sadaf

Madiha Sadaf in an undergraduate student at the University of Ottawa, enrolled in BSc. with Major in Biology and Psychology with Minor in Health Social Sciences.

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