I was engaged to a person. It was going to be arranged marriage, but in my heart, I always loved that person and asked him in my prayers. He was living abroad with his family due to covid, every time their flight got canceled and so our nikah.
When the time got near, one week before the wedding my fiance texted me that he got married to another girl and our engagement is finished. He was a nice person, I liked him because he seem religious, but I didnโt know more about him as he was abroad.
I myself had committed sins even the bigger ones (Astaghfarulllah), but I've asked forgiveness from Allah. I was depressed, but due to this incident, I came closer to Allah, prayed to Him, and be thankful.
Do I not deserve a pure man now? I really wanted to marry this man, he was a good man.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
It seems this marriage was not meant to be. Do not feel upset about the destiny of Allah.
Find comfort in repentance and use this fear of Allah to guide you to move forward in a way that will please Him.
Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,
I understand how this must have been very saddening for you to find out that the man you had hoped to marry had gone and married someone else. As a result, he called off marrying you.
Qadr Allah
SubhanAllah, that is the Qadr of Allah with flights being canceled; it seems the marriage was not meant to be. Allah saved you from something that was not meant for you. Not only that, it was an event that pushed you close to Allah. This in itself is also a blessing.
Blessing in Bad Situations
This is an experience for you to learn from, sister. It has shown you how things that are seemingly bad can come with so much blessing. Look at how conscious Allah it has made you. May Allah continue to guide you and may you continue to strive to be closer to Him.
It has also taught you about if something is not meant for you, then Allah will not allow it to happen. It may feel frustrating and upsetting in the moment, but this is where you have to trust Allahโs plan. Trust that He has something even better for you planned than you could ever dream of.
You may not feel like that now and may fall into despair wondering why, but you must trust Allah and continue to turn to Him to guide you to what is best. In sha Allah, one day you will understand His wisdom in all this and be grateful for this trial He has put you through.
Past Sins
I can see that you are also feeling sad about past sins you have committed. However, sister, you are doing the best thing by turning to Allah in repentance. Alhamdulilah.
Continue to do this and be confident is His Mercy and love to forgive. Find comfort in this and use this fear of Allah to guide you to move forward in a way that will please Him. Seek out marriage in the way that He has prescribed. In sha Allah, your family will support you in this.
May Allah continue to guide you on His path and grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.
Salam,
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