I have a question about a few dreams that had my ex in them. A few months ago after somewhat getting over him, I randomly had a dream about my ex. In the dream, we were very happy, both together in a good relationship.
We used to fight a lot so in that dream, he was apologizing to me a lot over and over again and I don’t know why after that I just started missing him and loving him again.
A month after that I had another dream about him, we were both happy and just had a good relationship. Someone told me today that he was probably missing me and that’s why I had a dream about him and I don’t know what to think about this?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- Your dreams may be a reflection of your past hopes and wishes and not an indication of him missing you. While I am sure you both may miss each other, dreams are most often a result of each individual’s unresolved issues.
- I would kindly suggest dear sister that you try to move on with your life, try not to read too much into this dream that is not there.
- Often dreams such as these are part of the healing process which includes both the reality of a situation as well as what we had wished it would be.
As salamu alaykum,
Shokran for writing to our live session. As you stated, you have been having dreams about your x. Dreams are often the mind’s way of dealing with unresolved conflicts, desires, hopes, worries or trauma. In your case dear sister, it could be that you have feelings for your x that you were unaware of. These feelings could exist in your subconscious and come out in dreams from time to time.
Break up
Often after a break-up, we may feel sad, hurt or angry about the break-up. Depending on why a couple breaks up will determine any residual feelings. While you did not say why you parted ways. Or how you felt when you did break up, the fact that you stated that the two of you fought a lot during the relationship is a red sign.
Sometimes when we break away from someone. Who was a negative force in a relationship, we tend to feel a loss as we have invested time, emotions and caring into that relationship.
On the other hand, we realize insha’Allah that the relationship was not healthy (constant arguing). As our emotions are often two-fold (loss and relief) there often arises a conflict in how we feel. It is normal and natural sister.
Often times women will dream about x husbands thinking it is a sign that they should reunite. Only to find that their x is still the same. And has not changed and they get hurt all over again as they had built up a false expectation based on a dream. If you were meant to be with your x-surely Allah would give you stronger signs sister.
Healing
First, you stated that you “somewhat got over him” which means you were on the way to healing from the relationship and about to move on. Then out of nowhere, you have this dream that you and he were reunited, in a good relationship, with him apologizing.
It could be sister that in your process of healing from the break-up. In your subconscious you really wished it could have worked out. You may have wished that he would have apologized. And in reality actually changed his behavior to that which is conducive to a good relationship. However, that is not how it turned out, although you may have wished it did.
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Therefore, your dreams may be a reflection of your past hopes and wishes and not an indication of him missing you. While I am sure you both may miss each other, dreams are most often a result of each individual’s unresolved issues. I would kindly suggest dear sister that you try to move on with your life, try not to read too much into this dream that is not there.
Move on
Often dreams such as these are part of the healing process which includes both the reality of a situation as well as what we had wished it would be. I would kindly suggest that you make duaa to Allah to guide you towards what is ordained for you. If you were meant to be with your x, you would be with him. There would be stronger indicators which would include you x actively seeking your forgiveness and turning to Allah for help.
Insha’Allah sister you are able to get passed these dreams and feelings and continue on your path of healing. Nothing that is meant for you will pass you by nor will chasing after an illusion bring you what you may still desire. Please do rely on Allah, draw closer to Allah swt for guidance and direction and know that Allah knows best concerning you, your x and the future.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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