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Family Dislikes My Conversion and My Hijab: What Should I Do?

01 February, 2018
Q Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. I'm a converted Muslimah and the only one in my family. My family deeply dislikes Islam and my decision to become a Muslimah, when I was a "free" Western young woman. Hijab and the way I dress are causing suffering and embarrassment to my family. My grandmother doesn't see me anymore in public, as I insist on hijab and long tunics. My father once threatened me with "the hijab or me." I chose hijab, but now al-hamdu lillah he gave up such a threat, although he still hates hijab. My parents are too worried that I might not get a job because of hijab. They show me how much grief I'm causing my family because of it, hoping I'll drop it (a`udhubillah). They say Muslimahs in Muslim countries don't wear hijab or that they cover only half their heads. They give a lot of deal to what television and newspapers say, but they don't seem to listen to me, to see that despite all the trouble it causes, I'm happy with hijab, al-hamdu lillah. Is there anything I can do to cool them down, in sha' Allah? Jazakum Allahu khayran.


Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- You are to be commended for your earnest desire to practice your religion and to abide by wearing hijab. We pray to Allah to help you remain steadfast in His faith while facing the various trials that come your way.

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2- It is our advice to keep good relations with your family members under all circumstances and to set a good example by showing them the tolerant aspect of Islam.

Responding to your question, the prominent Muslim scholar and da`iyah based in London Zienab Mostafa, states the following:

I would like to congratulate you on accepting Islam and commend you for your perseverance and steadfastness in wearing hijab against the uncomfortable family situation you mentioned. My advice to you can be outlined as follows:

1. You should take this as a test of faith where Allah is putting you through trials in order to see how firm you will stay in your faith. Keep on wearing hijab as a symbol of modesty, identity, and pride. Never give up the idea or surrender to any threats.

2. Treat your parents kindly and never repel evil with evil; rather respond to every hardship they place in your way with love, compassion, and benevolence. Don’t forget to buy them gifts from time to time. Hopefully, they will see how your life has changed to the better after becoming a Muslim and wearing hijab.

3. Use natural occasions to introduce Islam to your family and focus on the social and moral teachings of Islam. Hopefully, their hearts will be guided to Islam, or at least to respect your decision.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.