Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
1- A Muslim brother or sister should stay away from anything that may lead him or her to haram (Arabic for: prohibited by Allah).
2- So, you should, dear sister, stay away from this relationship. If he is thinking of getting married to you even after a period, he should go through the proper channels: through your own parents with your involvement.
In responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
Your ongoing relationship with a guy at this early age is not advisable. Islam does not allow us to forge secret liaisons. If you are thinking of marriage, you should go through the proper channels: through your own parents.
But it is my strong feeling that you are too young to think of marriage. Marriage is a serious matter. The man, who is older than you, should know better that it is not a good idea for him to forge a secret relationship with a minor, who may very well be gullible.
You, therefore, should discontinue this relationship, and put an end to your chats and e-mail messaging with this guy.
According to Islam, fornication is one of the deadliest of sins, and, therefore, we should stay away from all the means and doors leading to it. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has taught us that the process of fornication starts with one’s eyes, ears, speech, hands, etc., culminating in the intercourse.
Therefore, as believers, we must guard our eyes, ears, speech, and tongue, as well as all of our faculties, including our minds, against fornication. So, I urge you to put an end to this relationship and pray to Allah as follows:
Rabbi qini sharra sam`i, rabbi qini sharra basari, rabbi qini sharra lisani, rabbi qini sharra maniyyi.
(O My Lord, guard me against the evils of my hearing; my Lord, guard me against the evils of my eyes; my Lord, guard me against the evils of my speech; Lord, guard me against the evils of my private parts.)
Read also:
Having Affairs with a Man through Messages: How to Stop It?
New Muslims and Pre-Conversion Relations
Allah Almighty knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.