Now, I'm trying to tell my parents it is haram but somehow I can't talk to them about this topic. I found out if you have been breastfed by the same mother, the marriage is not permissible. My brother was breastfed by my fiancé’s mother. So, does this make my marriage valid?
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
- No one, even the parents, has the right to force anyone to marry against his or her will. Hence, it is your decision to marry your fiancé or not. So, you should declare it politely to your parents with the help of members of the family or the community if needed.
- The marriage prohibition because of breastfeeding doesn’t extend to you as long as you yourself are not breastfed by your cousin’s mother and he himself is not breastfed by your mother too.
In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
If you do not wish to marry the man your parents have chosen, you have the right to reject it.
After all, no one, parents are no exception, can force anyone to marry against his/her own will.
Therefore, the choice is yours. It is best that you say so firmly and clearly. You may use the wise people in the family or the community to help you communicate with your parents on this matter.
If your cousin’s mother has breastfed your brother, then your brother is considered her foster-son.
However, the marriage prohibition by virtue of breastfeeding doesn’t extend to you as long as you yourself are not breastfed by your cousin’s mother and he himself is not breastfed by your mother too.
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.