How to Deal with an Abusive Mother-in-Law as a Muslim Wife

26 December, 2024
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I got married last year. My mother in-law has a lot of influence on my husband and he believes whatever she feeds him. She's been trying to degrade me from the first day of our marriage. She even went on our honeymoon with us. I tried a lot to respect her and make a happy family but she is having trouble accepting me as her son's wife. I wasn't allowed to sit or eat with my husband. I couldn't use fridge and washing machine as I didn't bring my own as they refused to pay the dowry. She also used to abuse me verbally and physically. She called me prostitute, pig faced and bitch faced. My husband went abroad. So, I came to my parent's home. Now he wants me to go to his home but I am afraid. He calls me disobedient. I want to know what Islam says about this. Am I disobedient for not listening to him? I used to sleep in washroom during the day as she didn't let me sleep and he doesn't believe me. Please, guide.

Answer

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


In this fatwa:

Dealing with an abusive mother-in-law is challenging, but Islam provides clear guidance for maintaining dignity, peace, and justice in family relationships. Approach the issue with patience, kindness, and wisdom, reminding your husband of his role in protecting you. Always seek Allah’s help and guidance, and prioritize your mental and emotional well-being while striving for a harmonious family life.


Answering your question, Dr. Muhammad Salama, PhD, Islamic Studies in English, Associate Professor at the Faculty of Islamic Sciences al-Madinah International University (Mediu), states:

Islamic Principles for Respectful Marital Relationships

A husband has to treat his wife well. Allah Almighty said, {And consort with them [only] in accordance with what is right [and honorable].} (An-Nisaa’ 4:19)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also exhorted men to “…treat women kindly…

He has also to protect her honor from insult and abuse.

How to Address Abuse from Your Mother-in-Law in an Islamic Way

So, if you are really afraid of your mother-in-law, then you have the right to leave the house. You do not have to bear such insults from his mother.

  • If your husband treats you well and the problem is only with his mother, then you need to approach him kindly and remind him of your rights as a Muslim wife.
  • Suggest finding another house away from his mother when he comes back and tell him that this is better for your family.
  • Tell your husband to speak to his mother kindly and tell her to stop such abuse and insult and to remind her of the punishment of Allah for those who are unjust in their dealings and treatment.
  • He needs to advise her to repent and apologize for you before she stands before Allah Almighty on the Day of Judgment and He then will pass His judgment against her.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.