Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
1- Islam does not aim at severing the ties of kinship between its adherents and their non-Muslim relatives. Islam considers these kinds of relationship to be very important, particularly between parents and children.
2- Muslims are ordered by Allah to establish good relations with their family, neighbors, and fellow humans, regardless of whether the latter are Muslims or not. So you should never neglect your ties with your parents and relatives.
In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and scholar of Islamic studies at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
I commend you for your great zeal in learning and practicing Islam. I pray to Allah to enhance your faith, sincerity, and conviction.
Muslims are not only encouraged but rather ordered by Allah to establish good relations with their family, neighbors, and fellow humans, regardless of whether the latter are Muslims or not.
As a matter of fact, the Qur’an and the Prophetic traditions are replete with orders for Muslims to foster ties of kinship regardless of differences in religion.
Allah says:
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to your two parents. If either or both of them attain old age with you, (show no sign of impatience, and) do not (even) say “fie!” to them nor rebuke them, but speak kind words to them. And lower unto them of mercy the wing of humility, and say: “Lord, be merciful to them both, just as they cared for me when I was small.”(Al-Israa’ 17:23-24)
“And [God says:] “We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: his mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning was in two years. Thank Me and your two parents. To Me is the return. But if they try to force you to associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Keep their company with kindness in this world, and follow the path of him who turns to Me. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you did.” (Luqman 31:14-15)
The Qur’an further teaches us that honoring one’s parents has been an integral part of divine messages to all of God’s prophets and messengers from Adam to Muhammad so much so that is the foremost one, second only to worship of the One and only God.
The traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) further reinforce the above commandment. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Those who sever ties of kinship cannot hope to enter paradise.” (Muslim)
Once a person asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to guide him to the best of morals, he replied, “Join ties with those who sever ties with you; give to those who deny you, and forgive those who harm you.”
So you should never neglect your ties with your parents and relatives; the fact that you are a Muslim should also enhance rather than diminish your good relations with them. Paying them regular visits and joining them in their family meals are definitely important ways to strengthen your family bond.
Having said this, however, I must also point out that the above must never lead you to compromise your commitment to the dictates of your own faith.
You may do well to let them know that you would be honored to join the family at the dinner table, but that you are not allowed to consume alcohol, pork, or their by-products.
This will give you an opportunity to educate them on the Islamic dietary laws and their rationale.
Finally, as you have rightly said, yost majority of people embraced Islam, coming as they were from extremely diverse religious, ethnic, and racial backgrounds, through their exposure to the beauty of Islam in practical ways.
Let us remember the enduring words of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), “I have been sent to perfect the highest morals”; and, “I am a gift of mercy (unto the worlds) from Allah.”
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.