Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
Islam highly values kindness and respect toward parents, but it does not obligate children to remain in abusive or toxic situations. If a parent is emotionally or physically harmful, a Muslim may set boundaries or create distance, provided it is done respectfully and without hatred. Islamic scholars agree that protecting one’s dignity and mental well-being takes precedence when abuse is involved.
Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
I’m truly sorry to hear about what you’re going through. May Allah grant you strength, patience, and inner comfort. I pray that He softens your mother’s heart and helps her recognize the pain her words and actions have caused.
No parent should ever curse or condemn their child. Islam does not condone abuse—verbal, emotional, or physical—especially toward grown children. Such behavior contradicts the mercy and compassion that Islam emphasizes in family relationships.
If you feel safe, consider seeking support from respected elders within your family or community. They may be able to speak with your mother and help her reflect on her behavior. If she is connected to a mosque or Islamic center, you might also speak in confidence with an imam or counselor who can intervene with wisdom and care.
In the meantime, hold firmly to patience (Sabr). True patience is not weakness, but a sign of inner strength and dignity. Do not let her hurtful words define your worth or disturb your peace. As difficult as it may be, avoid reacting in anger. Stay composed and principled, and rise above the pain.
Remember, your dignity lies in how you respond—not in how others treat you. Uphold your values, and turn sincerely to Allah in Du`a’, asking Him to guide her, bring healing between you, and protect your heart. And if you ever feel unsafe, it is permissible—and even necessary—to set firm but respectful boundaries.
May Allah ease your hardship, reward your forbearance, and replace your sorrow with peace and healing. Ameen.
These fatwas offer greater clarification:
- How to Handle My Toxic Mother-in-Law? (Video)
- How to Deal with Toxic-in-Laws in Islam
- How to Deal With Toxic Father in Islam
- Duties of a Married Daughter towards Her Parents in Islam
- Duties of Children towards Their Parents in Islam
- Is Taking Care of Parents in Islam Obligatory?
Almighty Allah knows best.